Desire (Desire, Book 1) - By Missy Johnson Page 0,34

one last time before walking away.

The moment he left, the flood of mixed feelings came rushing back, and I was left as unsure and confused about his feelings as ever. Why was this guy so damn hard to figure out?

I arrived at work still thinking about Neri and her camp. I’d just spoken to Mauve about cutting my days down to three a week, I could hardly march in there and demand them back. Besides, it wasn’t like there was even the slightest chance in hell we could afford that, even if I were to work 50 hour weeks. There was only one way I could come up with that kind of cash, and I wasn’t sure that it was something I could do.

“Hey Kait.” I smiled at Emily as I shrugged out of my coat. She was busy writing up the monthly accounts for the regulars.

“Hey,” I sat down in the empty seat next to her. “How’s things?”

“Pretty good,” She shrugged. “Accounts are boring, but they need to be done.”

“So you just send them an invoice?” I asked, curious. Emily nodded. “How do they explain a bill for several thousand dollars?” Some of the regulars came in every night without fail.

Emily shrugged again. “I’m sure many of them write it off as a work expense.” She rolled her eyes.

“Hey Emily,” I began slowly. “Why did you move from reception, to…well, you know…” Emily laughed at my bashfulness.

Yes, that’s right. I was working in a brothel and I struggled to say the words ‘sex worker’. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that.” I apologized, color creeping up to my cheeks as I realized what I’d just asked. I may as well have asked her how many bowel movements she had a week.

“No, it’s cool,” Emily laughed. “Honestly, it’s fine. I want to travel. I’ve already saved enough to spend six months abroad, just from working here for a few months. It’s really not as bad as you think.” She added.

The funny thing was, I didn’t know what I was thinking. If you’d asked me a few months ago whether it was a profession I’d consider, I’d have laughed in your face. Then again, I would’ve laughed at the prospect of even working in such an establishment.

“Why do you ask, anyway?” Emily raised her eyebrows suspiciously.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I’m thinking.” That much was true. “My sister has the opportunity to go to a camp that will all but ensure her admission into Yale. The only problem is, it costs ten grand.”

As I said it aloud, I realized just what I was considering. Was that something I was really able to do? Sex itself wasn’t a big deal to me, and I was certainly comfortable doing it with someone I felt I had a connection with.

Could I look at is as a job though?

Could I leave what I did here and not take the emotions and feeling home with me? And if things with Devon were to go anywhere, how would he react?

No, I didn’t need to think about that one, I knew the answer to that. Devon struck me as the possessive type. Somehow I didn’t think he’d be okay with me doing what I was considering doing.

“I can’t tell you what to do.” Emily said after a moment. “But for me, the money was worth it. I don’t feel guilty, or wrong about doing it. I see it as a job, and that’s it.”

“How does your boyfriend feel about it?” I didn’t want to overstep the boundaries of our friendship, but I was curious.

“He doesn’t love me doing it, but we are not that serious yet. I said to him until he is ready to commit only to me, it’s no different to me picking up guys in a club.” She grinned. I laughed at her tone. At the very least, it was a great way to get an engagement ring.

“And if he does commit only to you?” I raised my eyebrows, smiling.

“Then I will stop.” Emily shrugged, as it was as simple as that. I admired her ability to have that attitude. “Are you thinking of…?” Her voice trailed off.

“Honestly, I don’t know. All I can think of right now is Neri, and her not getting into Medicine. If I can somehow help her achieve that, then I almost feel guilty for not perusing that.”

Gosh that sounded fucked up. Is that really how I felt?

That somehow I’d be a bad sister if I didn’t do this