“It's too dangerous, my Angel.” His gaze flicked to her belly.
“Don’t be naive, Shax. Do you think an infected will be like, ‘Oh, sorry, Angel. Didn’t see that you were preggers. I won’t chase you and try to eat your face anymore.’”
Brenna quickly turned her face to look at the wall behind her while Angel scowled at me.
“There's no need to be mean.”
“So I've been told. But I'm not trying to be mean. I'm being honest. Learning to use a knife on an infected is a survival skill everyone should know.”
“And,” Angel said loudly before looking at Shax, “Hannah is right. I’ve had to run from infected more times than I can count. I'm getting too big to outrun anything now. Even my bladder these days.”
“So didn't need to know that,” I said under my breath.
“It'd be smart for me to learn something that could save us both.”
She patted her stomach, and I knew she'd won without even having to look at Shax's expression. She was carrying the ultimate weapon for swaying fey thinking.
We stood back as the guys set up their dummy a fair distance away from the dildo pile. When they had it securely mounted to the rod Thallirin had rammed into the frozen ground with scary ease, Merdon removed a knife from his belt and held it out to me.
I looked at the blade glinting in the sunlight and felt guilt and fear surge forward.
“Focus, Hannah,” he barked.
“I am,” I snapped. “Does this mean I get my razor back?”
He said nothing, just continued to offer me the blade. I snatched it out of his palm and marched over to the dummy. Letting my audience fade from my mind, I tried to imagine the dummy was a real infected. If it were coming at me, what would I do?
I planted my left hand in its chest to maintain distance and thrust the knife upward into its stuffed head.
“Good,” Merdon said.
And it was good until I tried to pull the knife free, and it snagged on the cotton batting.
Just like Katie, my mind screamed.
My lungs ceased. I released the blade as if it had burned me and stumbled back a step.
Hands gripped my shoulders. A face crowded my vision.
“Stop,” Merdon said, giving me a slight shake. “You are safe, Hannah. You are here with Brenna and Angel. Breathe.”
I lifted my hand, showing him the empty, clean palm.
“It stuck.” The words trembled on unspent tears. “Just like last time.”
He pulled me into his chest, his arms wrapping around me. His fingers delved into my hair, rubbing my scalp and playing with the curls in a soothing way.
“Leave the past,” he said softly. “Stay with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
I leaned into Merdon, sheltered from the memories by his embrace. Slowly, the panic and fear faded, and my breathing steadied.
“Better?” he asked.
I nodded but didn’t pull away.
“I heard there’s a fight club forming,” a voice called.
Lifting my head from Merdon’s chest, I saw Eden and Ghua approaching along with a few other fey. Reluctantly, I stepped away from Merdon as Angel waved and answered.
“You’re at the right place. We’re shooting dicks and cutting cotton. You want in?”
“Heck yes!” Eden grinned even as Ghua winced.
I stood back and let the other girls have a go at the dummy as the gathered fey gave pointers to help with technique and execution. When it was my turn again, I was better prepared mentally and managed a few slick jabs.
Knife work wasn’t too difficult. Eden, Brenna, and I all had real world experience. We already knew there were only a few stab points that would work on an infected.
“We should teach them to remove the stupid ones’ heads,” a fey suggested.
“Not going to happen,” Eden said. “Way too much strength needed and far more splash-goo than any of us can handle.”
Angel gagged and held up a hand.
“No more,” she begged.
“Sorry. Didn’t know you were that sensitive.”
“I think it was the cupcake I ate. Too gooey.” She gagged again.
While Shax rubbed her back, the others debated what we should learn next.
“Hand to hand,” Merdon said finally. “The infected are getting stronger, faster, and smarter. We kill the ones we find. But if we miss any, the females need to know how to face them.”
His gaze slid to me.
“And they need to know how to fight in the snow and cold.”
Aw, hell. Outside basement time? I thought. At least I had more bite