Deja Dead Page 0,144
brought water, asked no questions. I have no idea how long I sat there, feeling nothing but emptiness. Eventually, my composure crept back, and I began to assess the reality.
He’d phoned me. Why? When?
I watched Gilbert don rubber gloves and slide his hand around the inside of the disposal. He drew something out and dropped it in the sink.
Was he trying to reach me? Or Gabby? What had he intended to say? Had he intended to speak at all, or just check whether I was there?
A photographer moved from room to room, his flash like a firefly in the gloomy flat.
The hang-ups. Was it he?
A tech in rubber gloves and coveralls taped books and sealed them into evidence bags, marking each, then signing across the seal. Another brushed white powder across the red-black varnish of the shelves. A third emptied the refrigerator, removing packages in plain brown wrappers, and placing them in a cooler.
Had she died here, her last visual images the ones I now saw?
Ryan spoke to Charbonneau. Snatches of the conversation floated to me through the suffocating heat. Where’s Claudel? Took off. Roust the superintendent. Find out about basements, storage areas. Get keys. Charbonneau left, returned with a middle-aged woman in housecoat and slippers. They disappeared again, accompanied by the book packer.
Again and again Ryan offered to take me home. There was nothing I could do, he told me gently. I knew that, but I couldn’t leave.
Grammama arrived around four. She was neither hostile nor cooperative. Reluctantly, she provided a description of Tanguay. Male. Quiet. Brown hair, thinning. Medium everything. Could have fit half the men in North America. She had no idea where he was or how long he’d be gone. He’d left before, but never for long. She only noticed because Tanguay asked Mathieu to feed the fish. He was nice to Mathieu and gave him money when he cared for the fish. She knew little else about him, rarely saw him. She thought he worked, thought he had a car. Wasn’t sure. Didn’t care. Didn’t want to get involved.
The recovery team spent all afternoon and late into the night dissecting the apartment. I didn’t. By five I needed out. I accepted Ryan’s offer of a ride and left.
We spoke little in the car. Ryan repeated what he’d said on the phone. I was to stay home. A team would watch my building around the clock. No late night sorties. No solo expeditions.
“Don’t ride me, Ryan,” I said, my voice betraying my emotional brittleness.
The rest of the drive was spent in strained silence. When we reached my building Ryan put the car in park and turned to me. I could feel his eyes on the side of my face.
“Listen, Brennan. I’m not trying to give you a hard time. This scum is going down. You can take that to the bank. I’d just like you to live to see it.”
His concern touched me more than I was willing to admit.
They pulled out all stops. APB’s went out to every cop in Quebec, to the Ontario Provincial Police, the RCMP, and the state forces in New York and Vermont. But Quebec is big, its borders easy to cross. Lots of places to hide or slip out.
In the days that followed I grappled with the possibilities. Tanguay could be lying low, biding his time. He could be dead. He could have taken off. Serial killers do that. Sensing danger, they pack up and relocate. Some are never caught. No. I refused to accept that.
Sunday I never left home. Birdie and I did what the French call coconer. We cocooned. I didn’t get dressed, avoided the radio and television. I couldn’t bear to see Gabby’s photo, or hear the overdone descriptions of the victim and suspect. I made only three calls, first to Katy, then to my aunt in Chicago. Happy Birthday, Auntie! Eighty-four. Well done.
I knew Katy was in Charlotte, just wanted to reassure myself. No answer. Of course. Curse the distance. No. Bless the distance. I didn’t want my daughter anywhere near the place a monster had held her picture. She would never know what I’d found.
The last call was to Gabby’s mother. She was sedated, couldn’t come to the phone. I spoke to Mr. Macaulay. Assuming they released the body, the funeral would be on Thursday.
For a time, I sat sobbing, my body rocking as though to a metronome. The demons that live in my bloodstream screamed for alcohol. Pleasure-pain, such a simple principle. Feed us.