news, son. Let’s be hopeful he’s right, and until then, we stay focused on our goal.” He pats my shoulder. “You’ve got to walk before you can run, am I right?”
I nod and smile another bullshit smile that feels like a trap and a lie all wrapped up by relief. We walk together to where the team is throwing back and forth and lazily warming up in preparation for practice to start. We’re a well-oiled machine that knows never to be late to practice, so many of the warnings bestowed upon us at the beginning of the year only need to be heard by a select few—many of us can’t breathe or function until we hit the field. This is where sense is made, and dreams become a reality.
“I’ve got to talk to Zach. His focus is up in the clouds,” Coach says before shaking his head and moving toward Zach Wallace, another junior who plays as a running back like me. Coach approaches him, placing a hand on his shoulder and bowing his head—it’s a sign of Coach’s respect but also signifying the conversation is serious.
“Check you out,” Paxton says as he comes to a stop in front of me.
I rub a hand across my chest. “Oh, trust me. Everyone does.”
He laughs, good-naturedly. “How does it feel to walk around?”
“Like a million bucks.”
He stares at me, having watched me ice my knee every afternoon and wince each time I stood.
“A million bucks worth of dirty money, but hey, still a million bucks.”
He chuckles, giving a slight nod like he knew I was bullshitting him from the get-go.
“We’ll have to take you out this weekend to show you off and celebrate.” Pax turns as Lincoln joins us.
I nod. “That’s what I’m talking about. Since you keep drinking all my beer, and those pain killers leave me feeling buzzed, I need a stiff drink and some ladies telling me how great I am.”
Lincoln laughs outright. “You might need to bring your crutches to find someone to play doctor-patient with you.”
“Not a terrible idea,” I tell him.
A ball sails through the air, and without thinking, I start to lift my hands to catch it. Lincoln moves first, jogging a few feet to receive the ball and then throws it back to Ian, who’d originally thrown it. It’s better he caught it, I tell myself. I would have come up short, and potentially tweaked my knee trying to get there in time. But knowing that doesn’t lessen the bitterness.
“All right, All right,” Coach Harris claps his hands, and I move to the outside of the huddle, listening as he directs the team to the stations for a Friday practice that is guaranteed to leave the team wishing for the weekend.
After practice, I have three classes—a decision I regret every week while many of my friends and classmates head into an early weekend. Still, being able to walk keeps me floating on cloud nine.
15
Olivia
“Hey, Mom, it’s me. Excuse the weird and randomness of this message.” I laugh. “Do you remember that summer that Grandma came and stayed with us after her stroke, and we were putting together all those photo albums and organizing them by year? I don’t know what made me think about it, but there were some pictures of a woman named Ellen. I can’t remember her last name or who she was. You were posing with her, and you said you guys used to be friends but weren’t anymore…” I pause at a red light and sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sure I sound crazy. It really doesn’t matter, I just…” I take in another breath, watching a hawk circle a field overhead. “I’m heading to Dad and Whitney’s for dinner tonight. They live out here in the woods, where only the rich live, and you would absolutely hate and love it because it screams pretentious, but it kind of reminds me of those old movies you used to make me watch where they lived in the woods and had a pet bear. You know what I’m talking about? Grizzly Adams and stuff.” The light in front of me turns green. “Anywho, don’t worry about the pictures. It’s no big deal.
“You’re never going to believe this, but I went to an NBA game last week. I took Arlo. It’s kind of a long story, I’ll have to tell you about it later, but he thinks he’s cursed. Crazy, I know. But we went, and it was surprisingly great.” I sigh as I