to say?” Rose asks as I weave through rush hour traffic.
Liv raises her shoulders. “I don’t know. I think he’ll try to deny it again, but maybe if I show him a picture, he’ll crack. I just don’t understand why no one’s told me. Why it’s been this huge secret?”
I’m considering the conversation I had with my Mom the other night, discussing if she would’ve told me if I’d been adopted. Empathy and sorrow slowly encroach on the anger and blame I feel toward Coach. I consider how to say this while making it clear I’m on her side when her phone rings.
“Shit,” Liv hisses. “It’s my dad.” She answers before Rose can ask if she should wait and talk in person.
In the rearview mirror, Liv’s brows furrow, and then her lips purse with the same anger I’d witnessed when Ellen came outside.
“I wouldn’t have to be digging around if you would just tell me the truth.”
She’s silent, and Rose looks at me from her seat beside Liv, clearly uncomfortable.
“I deserve to know the truth. Don’t you get it? I’ve spent the last four years feeling like I don’t fit in, and I just learned I really don’t fit. I don’t know who my mom is or what happened or who you are. I have so many questions, and no one wants to give me any answers, and I’m so damn sick of it.”
Coach’s voice rises on the other end but remains indiscernible over the road noise.
“You weren’t there for most of my life. I didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now.” She hangs up.
“What happened?” Rose asks.
Liv shakes her head, turning her attention out the window. “Ellen must still have his phone number because he knew I went to see her.” She shakes her head. “He told me to leave it alone, and when I told him I want to know the truth, he told me it’s none of my business, and I’m just going to make a mess of things. That I have him and Whitney and Ross and Colton, and that should be enough.”
“He doesn’t get it, does he? He’s making it about himself and not about you.” Rose reaches across the space between them, setting her hand on Liv’s shoulder. She doesn’t move, her focus remaining on the window, and her body turned away.
When we get back to their apartment, Liv goes to change into her pajamas in the bathroom.
“I’m worried,” Rose says, rubbing her temples. “That whole situation was absolute shit. I can’t believe that was Olivia’s mom or that she reacted like that. God, can you imagine? I’ve been freaking out the past couple of weeks thinking about how I’d feel if I learned my mom wasn’t my mom, that she was still alive. And it’s been such an overwhelming mess of feelings. Like I feel guilty and jealous and confused and hopeful because she has the opportunity to have a mom figure again, and I know how much it hurts to not have that.” She blows out a breath, making some of the fine hairs by her face shift. “But I can’t imagine how rejected she’s feeling right now, and how confused she must be.” She looks at the large clock on the wall. “I’m supposed to go to class. Maybe I should skip?”
“I’ve got this,” I tell her. “I have a feeling Liv’s going to want to avoid this conversation tonight. She likes to compartmentalize and think about things, so I’ll order some food, and we can hang out and watch a movie or something.”
“No. I’m her best friend. I should be here for her.”
“She’ll just be pissed at you if you skip class.”
Rose sighs. “She likes Chinese food. Potstickers and eggrolls are her favorite. And lo mein—she loves lo mein.”
I nod. “Great. I’ll order some.”
“And she likes Sprite with her Chinese food and extra potsticker sauce.”
I nod again, trying to hide my smile.
“And I’ll keep my phone where I can see it, so if you need anything, just text me.”
“She’s lucky to have you as a best friend.”
Rose shakes her head. “I’m the lucky one. She makes me feel sane when everything else in the world makes me feel crazy.”
“I heard you and Ian had lunch together.”
Her eyes flash to me. “It wasn’t a date.”
“No?”
“He happened to be at the same restaurant, and so we sat together.”
“You guys haven’t had sex, doesn’t that mean it’s okay to date?”
She shakes her head. “Stop saying date. I can only handle