Defiant Heir (The Heirs #3) - Michelle Heard Page 0,22
can head back toward my room, Jase takes hold of my arm. “You need to talk to Fallon.”
I know. It’s unavoidable.
I suck in a deep breath, then nod.
“Fifteen steps to her door,” Jase murmurs.
Reaching to my left so I can feel the wall, I take the fifteen steps. When I feel the door, I glance back to where Jase is.
“Yeah, just knock,” he answers my silent question.
I take a moment to steel myself. It’s going to gut me talking to Fallon, but it has to be done. I knock on the door, and when there’s no answer, I say, “Hana said she’s sleeping. I’ll try later again.”
I begin to turn in the direction of my own room when I hear the door open, and her scent drifts to me. Sucking it up, I ask, “Can we talk?”
“Yeah,” she answers softly, her voice sounding broken.
Hearing how she’s hurting sends a wave of pain through my chest.
Knowing the layout of Fallon’s bedroom and that it’s always clean, I take five steps inside, then pause.
I hear her shut the door and feel her move closer to me.
“I’m glad you agreed to have the surgery,” she says, sounding anxious.
Christ, I hate that she’s uncomfortable around me.
When I remain silent, Fallon asks, “What do you want to talk about?”
She sounds exhausted and… raw.
“It can wait until you feel better,” I answer.
She lets out a sigh. “The bed is to your left. Can I help you?”
I reach a hand in her direction, and when her fingers wrap around mine, and I move closer to her, my self-restraint slips, and I almost give in to my need to hold her.
She helps me to the bed, and it serves as a wake-up call. This is precisely what I don’t want for Fallon – her having to look after my grown-ass as if I’m a baby.
I sit down and then try to gather my thoughts.
“It’s been a shit week,” I mutter, not sure how to start this conversation.
“Yeah,” she agrees.
I feel her sit down next to me.
“Do you know when the surgery will be?” Fallon asks.
“Thursday.” Leaning forward, I rest my forearms on my thighs and clasp my hands together. “I’m sorry.”
I’m so fucking sorry.
“You have a lot to deal with,” she excuses my behavior.
Shaking my head, I suck in a deep breath, and then I ask the question I’ve been dreading, “Can we go back to being friends?”
I hear her swallow. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, this is hard.
“Just friends, Fallon. Nothing more.” The words weigh a ton. It’s filled with remorse, heartache, and loss. I know she’ll keep fighting for us if I don’t force her to walk away from me, and it has me lying, “It’s not like we dated. We weren’t in a relationship. We’re just going back to the way things were.”
“But…” I hear her breaths speed up. “You asked me on a date. There was more between us,” she argues.
My stubborn fighter.
I close my eyes as another wave of pain moves through me.
I don’t want to let you go.
But I don’t have a choice.
“Yeah, that was a mistake,” I keep lying. “We were never meant to be more than friends.”
“How can you say that?” she gasps. “I know you love me, Kao. I saw it in your eyes. I felt it in your hugs.”
God help me. I’m not strong enough to break her heart.
Getting up from the bed, I thrust a hand through my hair.
Fuck, this is killing me.
“Of course I love you, Fallon,” I admit one truth before I continue with the lies, “As a friend. Nothing more.”
I hear her breath hitch, and my arms yearn to comfort her.
“How can you stand there and say there was nothing more than friendship between us?” she snaps.
It’s good that she’s getting angry. It will help her deal with the heartache.
Before I can answer her, Fallon continues, “What about all the things you said last Wednesday? You asked me on a date, Kao. Yeah, you wanted to take things slow, but… you asked me on the date.”
“I made a mistake.” I let out a sigh. All the lying is gutting me wide open. It feels like my soul is hemorrhaging. “I… We’ve always gotten along. I think with Hunter and Jade, and then Jase and Mila pairing up, I got caught up in the moment.”
Fuck, this is so unfair. Why did that truck have to hit us? Why did this happen to us?
I shake my head, the questions only filling my chest with more despair.