Defenseman No. 9 - Xavier Neal Page 0,30

to answer is what leads me to grabbing the ingredients to make another batch.

“You know we don’t give a shit who you fuck, right?” Rutledge tosses out, tone dripping with seriousness and sincerity alike. “You don’t have to hide it from us.”

“I’m not hiding.”

“Mm,” Gillette immediately hums his disagreement, “you’re kinda hiding.”

Ice cubes are dumped into the blender. “You knew.”

Shocked stares swing to our right wing forcing him to defend himself, “No yeah, but no one else did!”

“I’d say that’s inaccurate.” I reach for the top-shelf tequila bottle and argue, “It’s safe to bet my previous encounters did.”

Peck promptly pops off the first question that, most likely, comes to mind. “Have you always been into dudes?”

“I’m not just into guys…” my explanation continues despite my actions now back to creating the concoction the other guests are waiting on. “I like girls, too. I’ve dated both. And, to answer the actual question that came from your inebriated brain, yes. I’ve always been into dudes, same as I’ve always been into chicks. I watch Hamilton and am equally attracted to the dude that plays Jefferson and the chick that plays Maria Reynolds.”

“You’ve seen that shit, too?” Stratton happily questions.

“You-betcha. I also saw it live. On Broadway. Crash’s parents got him tickets for his birthday one year. They automatically included me in that plan and purchase.”

“Aren’t those costumes fucking amazing?” Stratton immediately sighs.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You like fucking musicals?” Gillette gasps, question clearly at me. “How do I not know this?”

“I’ve knocked you into the boards too many times to remember trivial shit.”

There are light chuckles followed by Rutledge inquiring, “Why haven’t you ever said shit about this before?” His serious tone returning receives my stare. “Not the musical shit. I don’t give a fuck about that. I mean…the liking guys and girls shit. Do you not trust us or some shit?”

“You better fucking trust us!” Peck shockingly snaps. “Trust is what makes this crew fucking special. We all trust each other to follow the plays called, to improvise, to defend, and be an unbreakable, unstoppable unit – which cannot happen, which is not fucking possible without unshakeable, unwavering trust! Without trust, what do we have? Who are we? How are we any fucking better than any other team we’re up against? How are we worthy of the uniforms we wear on our backs?!”

My brow pinches together in further surprise over his outburst.

“Okay, Drunkie Chan,” Gillette cautiously says while lowering Peck’s cup towards the counter, “you might wanna slow your karate slop down before you hurt yourself.”

He looks at Gillette in confusion and then his cup and then Gillette again.

Huh.

Never thought the day would come when I’d see this shit.

Then again, I can’t say I ever thought the day would come where I’d have to have this talk with them. I’ve always been discreet about who I’m sleeping with. From gender to duration. It’s not really anyone’s fucking business, considering they don’t usually last more than a couple weeks. I did, however, once make it an entire month with someone who I stopped seeing when I found out they were lying about sleeping with other people while they were sleeping with me. I never pictured someone mattering enough to be introduced to my family – team or biological – and, up until two days ago, I never had the desire to do it. Ironically enough, now that I have, I can’t imagine group shit without him included.

I want Crash Donovan to crash every social aspect of my life from this point onward.

“I didn’t say shit because I didn’t want shit to change.” Instead of reaching for the bottle of Triple Sec, I swallow my reluctance to keep talking, and shoulder on. “I didn’t want the idea of who I fuck or don’t fuck to affect how you view me as a person and damn sure not as your fucking teammate. We all know how that shit goes in our sport…fuck, most sports.”

They all solemnly nod.

“If I didn’t trust you, assholes, I wouldn’t have brought Crash here-”

“Technically, I brought Crash here,” Gillette needlessly brags.

“-and I damn sure wouldn’t let you see us together, the way we are together. It’s not an issue of trust or shame so much as wanting to be seen for more than where my dick decides to go, which is something all of you fuckers should easily be able to understand.”

Their second somber nods encourage me to lighten the vibe back up.

“Besides, I wasn’t in the mood for the inevitable