Deep River Promise (Alaska Homecoming #2) - Jackie Ashenden Page 0,90
leaving. You stayed four measly days and now you’re going home. How is that looking out for me?”
The anger in his gut seemed disproportionate, but he couldn’t seem to shove it away. It ate at him, burned him. Felt like someone had lit a fire under him and was holding his skin to the coals.
“What do you want from me?” he demanded roughly. “You’re a great kid, you’ve got lots of confidence and common sense most of the time. You’ve got your mom and the town looking out for you. You don’t need me.”
“What do I want?” Connor shifted on his feet, crunching gravel under his sneakers. “I want a guy I can just…talk to about stuff. You know, things I can’t talk to Mom about. I know you’re not my dad and I’m not looking for one. But a friend would be good.”
Damon’s heart twisted, his anger turning inward on himself. A friend, that’s all the kid wanted. That’s all. How could he deny him that?
“I can give you my number. We can email or I can call—”
“Email?” Connor’s voice was sharp with disappointment and anger. “That’s seriously all you got? Going to be really effective out here where there’s no service.”
Shit.
You goddamn coward.
Damon gritted his teeth, set his jaw. No, screw that; he wasn’t a coward. And Connor was right; email or phone calls were half measures, and the boy deserved more than that from him. A hell of a lot more.
But he didn’t have it to give. All he could give him was the truth.
“I’m sorry, Con.” He held the boy’s gaze. “I can’t stay. I know it sucks, but I have to think of my mom. She’s got no one else to take care of her and she needs to stay in LA, where the hospitals are.”
Something seemed to go out of the kid then, the light of determination in his eyes dying. He looked away, his shoulders hunching. “Yeah, I get it.”
The hopeless note in Connor’s voice made Damon feel as if someone had punched him in the stomach.
“Connor,” he began.
But the teenager only shook his head and walked past Damon wordlessly, stiff and furious as he strode back to the community center and up the stairs, disappearing inside.
Good going, asshole.
Damon cursed under his breath and strode forward a couple of steps, taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to corral his fury and frustration.
The early evening air was cool and fresh in his lungs, carrying with it the scent of the river and the faint spice of cedar and spruce from the forest.
His temper eased a little.
Why did he feel Connor’s disappointment so acutely? The boy wasn’t his son. He’d known him less than a week, so the sharpness of the feeling didn’t make any sense.
Perhaps it was because he knew what it was like to be lonely. To need someone to talk to. His mom had worked two jobs to make ends meet, leaving him on his own a lot. Which he hadn’t complained about, especially considering she was working hard to keep him fed.
So yes, it had been lonely. But he’d sucked it up and gone on because he’d had to. Because he’d had no one else.
Because life was hard and some things you had to do by yourself.
He’d managed it; Connor would have to do the same.
“Damon?” The voice behind him was soft and feminine.
Astrid.
He turned sharply. She came down the steps from the center’s porch and onto the gravel, her footsteps crunching. Her hair gleamed, a soft golden halo. She wore worn jeans and a deep-blue long-sleeved button-down shirt with a parka thrown over the top, the color tingeing the gray of her eyes, making them look like thunderclouds.
She was so beautiful. But it wasn’t her beauty that made his heart catch inside him. It was the look on her face, full of concern.
Everyone needs someone, Damon. And you have me. You will always have me.
The memory of what she’d said to him the night before drifted through his head like a song he couldn’t remember the words to, the tune haunting him.
He ignored it.
“Yes?” He tried to sound neutral but couldn’t hide the rasp of emotion that lingered in his voice. “Is the meeting starting?”
“I’m going to give it a few more minutes.” She took another couple of steps, then stopped, her gaze roving over him. “Are you okay? I saw Connor come in looking upset. Did he do something he shouldn’t?”