The Deck of Omens (The Devouring Gray #2) - Christine Lynn Herman Page 0,61

still adjusting to. Rosie had always been there?—knowing her had been like breathing. But choosing to let someone into your life, letting them see the places where you were weak and the ones where you were strong?—it was complicated. And exhausting. And rewarding, too. Because she and Rosie had never really had a choice. But here people did, and they had chosen her.

Violet’s eyes fell on the photos taped just above the bed, next to the small nightstand lamp that was definitely a fire hazard. They looked like a photo-booth spread?—Isaac was shoved between May’s feathery blond hair and Justin’s wide grin, looking progressively less miserable in every picture.

The photo at the very end captured most of Violet’s attention, and made something drop in her stomach. Isaac was looking at Justin while Justin stared at the camera. The longing on Isaac’s face was so transparent, so raw, that Violet turned her gaze away.

“Ugh,” Isaac said quietly. “I should take those down.”

Violet turned back toward him. She knew Isaac had fought with Justin. She also knew that Isaac was extremely into him. She had found out from the Four Paths rumor mill that Isaac had come out as bi in homeroom last spring, very casually, with a confidence Violet wished she could convey when discussing her own sexuality.

“We’ve already talked about enough tonight,” she said. “We don’t have to talk about you and Justin.”

Isaac snorted. “There’s nothing to talk about, anyway. I’m just a big bisexual disaster.”

“Oh, same,” Violet said, before she could think it all the way through.

Isaac’s eyes widened, and Violet realized that she could walk this back or see it through. She thought about the conversation they had just had, about how good it had felt to tell Juniper the truth, and decided to commit. It was an exhausting feeling, to realize that she would have to come out to everyone in her life like this. She understood more now why Isaac had done it so publicly.

“Yeah, I’m bi, too,” she said. “And I’ve totally had crushes on straight girls before. It sucks, liking someone who can’t like you back.”

“It really does,” Isaac said. “But… hey. Thank you for telling me. I hope you know I would never out you or anything.”

“I know,” Violet said. “Especially since you did just unload a lot of stuff on me. I’ve got dirt on you, Sullivan.”

“My life’s a nightmare, I know.”

“All of our lives are.”

Isaac’s laugh sounded like a cough. “Justin always said it was dangerous to try to play ‘who’s more messed up’ with the founder kids. Everyone always loses.”

“Is that game at least a little less dangerous than that drinking game we all played?”

“Monster in the Gray isn’t dangerous,” Isaac said, grinning a little. “Sure, you have to handle a hammer?—”

“While chugging death juice!”

“It’s a game of great skill, okay?” He paused. “You’re distracting me, aren’t you? That’s what this is?”

“Depends,” Violet said. “Is it working?”

“Maybe a little bit.” Isaac was curled up on his side, his hair flopping across his forehead. The shaved part of the back of his head was growing back in, a messy, endearing thatch of dark brown hair. He looked vulnerable like this, younger, not like a boy who could disintegrate half the forest if he wanted to.

“I think the part I hate the most about the Justin thing,” he said finally, “is that Justin understood when I told him. It hurt him, but like?—he’s not a homophobic jackass. He respected the boundary I set. He’s listening to me.”

Violet raised an eyebrow. “You’re mad the guy you have a crush on treated you with respect?”

“Had a crush on,” he said.

Her eyes met his, and she said, too carefully, “Had? As in past tense?”

“I mean, I’ll always care about him,” Isaac said. “But… it feels different now that I’ve taken a step back. I can see things I couldn’t before. He found me right after everything happened, and I felt for so long like I was always trying to catch up to that moment. Like if I saved him enough times, we’d be even.”

“I’m not exactly a relationship expert,” said Violet, “but I don’t think that’s how it works. It doesn’t have to be life and death all the time. And it doesn’t have to be about keeping score.”

“You’re right,” Isaac said. “Shit, Violet, I don’t want you to feel like I’m putting too much on you. I feel like I’ve already asked you for too much.”

“We’re friends.” Violet remembered in a rush just how