Decidedly with Wishes - Stina Lindenblatt Page 0,51

to do was take the first step and open up in a way I hadn’t done with anyone else.

But was it a risk I wanted to take?

To lay myself naked, vulnerable, like a snack for a hungry bear to munch on?

The screech of a hawk sliced through the air as if answering my unspoken question.

I drew in a deep breath, strengthening my resolve. “I haven’t exactly had much luck in the girlfriend department, which is why I don’t do relationships anymore.”

She gave me a sad smile, and I got the sense that I wasn’t the only one who had been hurt from a past relationship. Although from the way she’d seemed excited when she caught the bouquet, I suspected only I still carried scars.

She took a drink from the bottle. “You’re not just talking about the girlfriend in high school you told me about, are you?”

“That’s right. I had a girlfriend while I was playing for the Rock’s affiliate team. We’d been dating for over two years when I found out she was pregnant. She let me believe it was mine, but then I discovered she’d been screwing around with one of my teammates behind my back. Hell, she was still screwing around with him at that point. But unlike with me, none of the NHL teams had drafted him.

“I was the ticket to a future she wanted. Her goal was to be the next big thing in lifestyle blogging, to be an influencer. She had it all figured out: the hugely successful blog and Instagram account, the Netflix TV show, the six-figure book deal. And I was the ticket to her success. The sports media was going on and on that I would soon be the next big thing.”

Nala covered my hand with hers.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate it.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Eli. How did you find out the baby wasn’t yours?”

“At first, she claimed the baby wasn’t my teammate’s. She was a hundred percent positive it was mine. I’d even believed her stupid story about how it had only been the one night with him. Her grandmother had died, and I was in Copper Creek at the time, visiting family. She claimed what happened next had been a moment of weakness.

“I’d wanted to believe her, so I didn’t push for a paternity test. I’d confided in my mom about everything that was going on. She told me the risks of doing a paternity test during pregnancy, and I decided it wasn’t worth it. Like I said, I wanted to believe my girlfriend. I even proposed to her. She pushed to get married before the baby was born. But it was the middle of the hockey season, and I finally got her to agree with waiting until after it was finished.

“It wasn’t until her daughter was born that it was discovered she had a genetic disease that wasn’t in my family. I knew that my teammate’s sister had the same thing. Hell, all the guys on the team had known it.” I gulped down more wine. “I demanded the paternity test, but it only told me what I’d already figured out.”

Nala rested her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around her. She felt so warm and giving. And for the first time since the truth had surfaced, I no longer felt the crushing weight from my ex’s deception because she’d wanted to use my name to advance her career.

“I can understand why you feel the way you do about relationships.” Nala’s soft voice was that of a mother after her child skinned his knee. But it was the other emotion buried in her voice that tugged hard at my gut, making it difficult to breathe.

“So I’ve told you about my past failures with relationships. What about you? Do you have any skeletons in the relationship closet you want to unload?” I chuckled, trying to ease the sad tension that had joined our conversation.

Nala accepted the wine bottle from me and swallowed a healthy swig from it. “When I said I could understand why you feel that way about relationships, it’s because I went through something similar. In my case, my fiancé, the man I loved and envisioned growing old with, was having an affair with his department manager. I only found out about it when she got pregnant.

“The sad thing is, I had chosen to ignore all the signs about the affair. They were practically sky-written for