Death by Sarcasm - By Dani Amore Page 0,44
head. It came away pinkish. She hoped that meant there wasn’t much there.
“Stupid,” she said. Someone had been hiding down below in the cabin. Because she’d been able to see the old man at the wheel out of the corner of her eye. So someone else had slipped out of the sleeping quarters, came up behind her, bonked her, and tossed her overboard.
Mary thought of the Discovery channel, of how seals would roll themselves up in kelp to keep them afloat and then nap. Maybe I should take a nap, she thought. Or find some clams and crack them on my belly like the seals.
Cold began to seep into her body. Not enough for hypothermia, but enough to give her a cold. Summer cold, Mary thought. They’re the worst.
So she waited. She was enveloped by cold. Her teeth chattered, and she was already exhausted from treading water. Once, she felt something slick and rubbery scrape against her leg and she nearly screamed.
Just when she thought she couldn’t last any longer and would have to try swimming the rest of the way to the island, she heard the sound of a motor.
It was a high-pitched whine, rather than the deep rumble of a boat. Mary peeled herself out of the kelp and swam toward the open ocean. Far off, she saw two jet skis on their way to Catalina.
She swam as fast as she could for ten minutes, as the jet skis came closer. Finally, when she thought she could get their attention, she surged out of the water and waved her arms up over her head. Survival water ballet.
There were two of them, and it was an awful moment when they seemed totally oblivious to her. Mary gathered her self and launched her body out of the water, waving her arms over hr head. It was the second rider who finally spotted her. He zoomed out past the leader, and herded him over toward Mary.
Minutes later, they pulled up next to her. They were covered in tattoos and had more piercings than Aunt Alice’s pin cushion.
“Dude, what happened?” the lead guy asked, displaying a tongue stud.
“What, you’ve never seen a mermaid before?” she said. She reached out and got ahold of the jet ski’s side.
“Lift me up and I’ll show you my tail,” she said.
“Cool, man!” the guy said and reached out for her.
It was a little tricky, but between Mary hoisting herself up, and the guy lifting, she was able to swing onto the back of the machine.
“We’re going to Catalina, dude” he said. “Get fucked up and then ride back!”
“I’m going to Catalina too,” Mary said. “To fuck up a couple of old men.”
“Kick ass, dude!” the guy said.
Finding a guy with the austere nickname of ‘Mungo’ shouldn’t have been a big challenge to Mary. But it was. Because Mungo certainly wasn’t really Mungo. What, someone would lie to me? Mary thought. Curse the idea!
Still, the old man had a boat and made deliveries. Mary was sure that part of it wasn’t a lie. After all, what did the guy do? Rent a frickin’ boat and make up some elaborate shipping lie to get her on board? No way.
After her new ‘best dude’ dropped her off at the pier, she went to the public bathroom and checked her cut, which was pretty small, and pulled out the small business card case she kept in her front pocket. In addition to business cards, she had an American Express card for emergencies tucked in the very back.
She went to the first store she could find and bought a pair of overpriced pants and a matching overpriced sweatshirt, went back to the public bathroom and changed. Her head hurt, and her body ached. Her stomach was queasy from all the saltwater she’d swallowed. She wanted to call Jake. A part of her still felt like she was bobbing out in the Pacific, alone and bleeding. As much as the idea of hearing his voice pleased her, the hassle of explaining how and why she’d ended up here outweighed the benefit.
She needed to sit down for awhile and get her bearings. She went to a place called the Blue Heron and ordered coffee.
No point going to the cops on the island. For one thing, they wouldn’t do much. And for another thing, they might call L.A. and that would cause a huge cock-up and she might wind up in the Catalina slammer for a day or two. Nuh-uh.
She sipped her coffee and