Death by Sarcasm - By Dani Amore Page 0,26
on stage. Her leather pants were gold, her shirt black. She had chestnut brown hair piled on top of her head. A pretty face and a knockout body. At least the fat heckler had good taste.
Mary got a beer and walked to the back of the seating area.
Despite the fair amount of people in the club and the haze of cigarette smoke, she spotted him right off.
A baseball cap, a big body stuffed into a small wooden chair. He had a bowl of chips in front of him and a bottle of beer. The suit looked odd on him, a black monstrosity that covered his enormous girth like a circus tent. And the baseball cap on top of his head looked wildly out of place.
There was no point in approaching him now, Mary thought. He was probably in the middle of a fantasy starring himself and Claudine. No doubt involving the leather pants.
Mary found a table and sat down. This Claudine Leering was going on about stupid boyfriends. Well, she could relate to that. She’d had more than her fair share. Like the guy who thought missile silos were actually disguised as real farm silos. Then there’d been the guy who believed Mary when she told him that p.i. stood for Protestant Inspector.
As Mary listened to Claudine’s routine, she found herself chuckling. This woman was actually funny. That nasty talent agent didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. That’s probably why she was a talent scout stuck in these dives.
“Hey, Babe, I haven’t seen you around here before.” Mary turned to see a man in a striped shirt, green sportcoat and denim jeans. He had on thick black shoes, thick black glasses, and his black hair was thick with gel. He was slightly cross-eyed.
“And you probably won’t again,” Mary said, taking a sip of her beer and not even looking at the guy.
“Jeez, tough room,” he said.
“Not tough enough, apparently,” Mary mumbled.
“I’m a comedian here,” the guy said. He stuck out his hand. “Steve Killar. My friends call me Killer.”
Mary ignored his hand. “Nice to meet you, Killer,” she said. “My friends call me Gonnie.”
“Gonnie? What is that, Italian?”
“No, it’s a nickname. It’s short for gonorrhea, which I’ve had for almost ten years. Really, really awful illness.” Mary pushed out the chair next to her. “Want to sit with me for awhile there Killer?”
“Um, I don’t know….Gonnie.”
The annoying guy had moved around in front of Mary and now she couldn’t see the stage.
“I might take a raincheck,” he said. “But are you going to stay for my set? It’s hot, I guarantee you that.”
“Sounds lovely,” Mary said. “But I’ve actually have to go my urologist for a pressure wash. You know, the thing they use to clean patio decks?”
Mary leaned over to the side to get a look at the stage, but the comedian moved with her.
“Well tell your friends about me…” Killer said.
Mary abruptly stood up and saw that Claudine had left the stage and the fat guy was gone, too.
“Shit,” she said, then stood and pushed ‘Killer’ out of her way and hurried toward the stage. She immediately saw a short hallway to the office and dressing rooms, probably. There was also an exit door. She debated for just a moment. If the big guy had been following Miss Leather Pants around, he’d probably been barred from the dressing room. Mary hit the exit door and banged it open, then spilled out into an alley. The big guy was at the end, near a street.
“Hey!” she shouted.
The man turned, then immediately turned left and disappeared from view.
“Shit,” Mary said. And then she started running. “If I can’t catch this guy, I’m going to hang it up once and for all.”
Fifteen
The big man could move, Mary had to admit. By the time she had gotten to the mouth of the alley and turned left, she barely caught sight of his freak ass baseball cap turning left on the next block up. Mary decided to turn left immediately and cut across the front lawn of an insurance company. She took a peek down an alley as she passed it, but she didn’t see the big guy. However, she saw a pedestrian, an Asian woman with a Crate & Barrel shopping bag looking back over shoulder as if she’d just seen the ghost of Shelley Winters skateboarding down the street.
By the time Mary hit the sidewalk and looked up toward the street ahead, Big Suit had hit the intersection