Death by Sarcasm - By Dani Amore Page 0,19

is like rubbernecking at a car accident – you don’t really want to, but sometimes you just can’t stop yourself.”

“Why me?” Mary said.

“The group of guys I told you about? The ones who all started out with Brent and me way back when?”

Mary nodded.

“We want to hire you to find Brent’s killer,” Braggs said. “And now Barry’s too.”

Her first inclination was to say absolutely not. But she was looking into the case anyway, so she may as well get paid for it. Plus, since she had a legitimate client now, she actually had a legal right to do some investigating. At least, enough right to challenge the Shark the next time they butted heads.

“There’s only one condition,” Braggs said.

Uh-oh, Mary thought.

“I’m coming with you.”

Eleven

Mary shot up Pico, then hooked a left onto Lincoln. A few minutes later she pulled up in front of the Leg Pull. Mary hoped that this would be the last time she had to come to this shithole. It was depressing.

But then she smiled and laughed about Mr. Whitney Braggs. Thinking he could tag along just because he’d hired her. Fuck that. What was she, a ride share program for the elderly? That’s why she had slipped out the back door of Aunt Alice’s house. She didn’t have time to babysit some old man. She eased out of the car, her body still ached. Mary dry swallowed some more Tylenol.

She walked into the Leg Pull and saw her good friend Mr. Cecil Fogerty, standing at the bar, watching the bartender, a very well-endowed young woman. Mary figured the woman would last about a week, or at least until Cecil started putting the moves on her and she slapped him silly. At least, hopefully that’s what she would do, for her own sake.

Fogerty glanced out the corner of his eye when she walked in, stiffened as if someone had shoved a cattle prod up his ass, then immediately turned his back on her. Mary walked right up to him.

“Hey Cecil! Long time no see!” she said.

He turned to look at her over his shoulder. The bartender moved on so Cecil had no choice but to turn all the way around and face her.

“I told you everything I know,” he said.

“Ah, come on,” Mary said. “You must be a real fountain of knowledge. You went to MIT, right? Molecular biology? Tell me about your thesis. I’m dying to hear it.”

“Please go away,” he said, his voice small and sheepish.

“I can’t stay away from you,” Mary said. “I’m hooked. It’s like asking a bird not to fly. The sun not to shine. Your pits not to stink.”

“You know,” he said. The light of a small challenge coming into his eyes. “I reported you to the cops for pulling your gun on me,” he said. He even puffed out his chest a little.

“No you didn’t,” Mary said just as loud. “You changed your soaked panties and told everyone you did me on the desk.”

“Yeah, but after that, I called the cops.”

Mary could tell he was lying. He wouldn’t dare call the cops and get involved with them. She was sure Cecil had all kinds of sideline activities the police would love to know about. And she didn’t have time to listen to his bullshit. Mary closed the distance on him and stood so close her boobs were hitting him in his chest. She could smell his body odor mixed with some high-octane Hai Karate. Mary tried not to look at the greasy pores on the man’s nose.

“Jimmy Millis,” she said. “Where is he?”

“Here we go again,” Cecil said. His voice actually shook a little and his chest caved back in.

“Is that your breath or are we standing over an open sewer?” Mary said.

Cecil gritted his teeth. “I have very active glands,” he said. “It’s not fair of you to make fun of something I can’t control.”

Mary reached up and grabbed the front of Fogerty’s shirt. The bartender looked over as well as a cocktail waitress who had reappeared from the back room.

“Tell me where that fuckstick is,” Mary said. “Or I’m going to bitch slap you like your Mommy used to.”

“Jesus! You’re nuts!”

“Speaking of nuts, how about I kick yours right up into your uterus? Tell me where he is. Now.”

“I don’t know,” Fogerty said through clenched, yellowed teeth. “Go look in one of those Comedy Club flyers – it shows where everyone is. He’s probably listed in there.”

Mary nodded. “That’s a good idea. But since you know the clubs,