trying to just focus on the grass swaying around me and the ground beneath me. I have wrapped up everything I thought I was and needed to be in this town. If I’m not needed…then what do I do? “But if you are that worried, then you should know your father and the council got word this morning from Royton.”
“Royton?” I echo. The Royton Academy is known for producing some of the best herbalists in all the land. It’s farther down the coast, nestled in warmer, more tropical lands where all kinds of plants can be grown year round. “What about Royton?”
“There’s an academy student they’re sending. She’ll be here within the week to assist with anything Capton needs as you settle—for however long that takes. It says she’s been paid in full for at least one hundred years and we can use her services for as long or as little as we like.”
“But Royton is days away…” My fingers tremble.
Eldas did this. He got the news to Royton. He saw that someone came so I didn’t even have to worry as I settled in. He paid them a king’s sum to serve this small town. There’s no other explanation for how a graduate of Royton knew and why they would come here of all places.
What was Eldas thinking when he arranged for this new healer?
The cynic in me would say that he was trying to prove that I wasn’t as necessary to this community as I once thought. He did it to take my purpose from me and force me to stay in Midscape. But, if that had been his intent…he would’ve no doubt told me before I left.
He was giving me choice—the choice to stay in Capton, or leave, no matter if it was for Midscape or not.
Love is choice.
Just dream, Eldas, and then follow those dreams.
I have to go to know.
Words I said to him that I didn’t know got through echo back to me. He listened. Time and time again. That man is imperfect and stinted. He can be cruel and cold. But he’s willing to try and hear me. Somehow, he heard things I didn’t even know I was saying. He listened…and I didn’t do the same.
Our interactions flash across my mind. His looks, his touches, even in front of others. The way he held me in the night. The way our magic resonated together. The promises he made me.
Eldas, what do you feel for me? My question echoes back and now I can see between the lines. He loves you more than anything, you idiot.
“Luella.” My mother’s gentle voice startles me back to the present. “The one thing that has always been most important to your father and me has been your happiness. Where will you be most happy?”
“Will everything be okay?” I don’t just mean with them, or here in Capton, without me. I want her to tell me everything will be all right.
“I know you. You’ll make it okay if it’s not.” She gives my hand a squeeze.
“If I go back…if they’ll have me…I’ll become more a part of that world than this one.”
“But you can still visit from time to time?” she asks. I nod. “Then how is it different from what any parent endures? Children are meant to grow and live their own lives. If you want to, Luella, go.”
“Even if I wanted to go back…I can’t.” Panic is rising in me. I should have asked for a way back. Why didn’t I find a reason to ask Eldas to give me his blessing to return?
“Why not?”
“Because the only one who can traverse the Fade—or give others the ability to—is Eldas himself.” Even as the Human Queen, I couldn’t find my way out of the Fade when I tried to run away. I was lost, turned around, hopeless until he came to rescue me. “The two times I passed through were either with the blessing of his magic, or with him as a guide.”
A guide. Rinni had said I had a guide through the Fade. Hook. Rinni meant Hook.
“Wait,” I whisper to the horizon. “I can get back.”
My mother smiles as if she’s known the whole time. “Then what’re you waiting for?”
“But—”
“Go,” she insists a final time. “Go and be happy.”
My heart thrums in my ears so loudly it nearly drowns out my parents’ voices downstairs as I’m packing a bag. Mother takes charge on explaining things to my father. I strain my ears, listening for his reaction. His soft