crashing through the trees came from behind her. By the time she turned, Knox had burst into the clearing. He stopped half a dozen paces away, his gaze sweeping over the crushed grass where she’d fought with Ava before fixing on her face. “Nina?”
She clung to her careful detachment, wrapping it around her like a blanket. A shield.
He holstered his gun as he took another step forward, every movement slow. The way you’d approach a wild creature. “Is she gone?”
She was stone.
“Nina?”
She was ice.
“Nina, are you—?”
The ice fractured. “How long did it take?” she rasped, clambering back to her bare feet. “Did you even put your pants back on before you started laughing at how easily distracted I was?”
Knox recoiled. “I never laughed at you. It wasn’t like that.”
“I should have known. I should have known.” She spun away from him. “You spent all that time warning me not to get mixed up with you, but you let me crawl into your bed anyway. Because that’s exactly what I was supposed to do.”
“No—” The word cut off in a growl that moved closer. “Damn it, Nina. I wasn’t trying to play you. I just … I fucked up.”
“No. No, you were brilliant.” Nina backed away, keeping a precise amount of distance between them. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Not anymore. You have what you want.”
“Nina…” He stopped, both hands held placatingly at his sides. “It’s more complicated than that.”
A wry, humorless laugh shredded its way out of her throat. “It always is, isn’t it, Captain?”
“I was going to tell you.” His fingers curled toward his palms. “I know it doesn’t mean shit now, but I was going to tell you tonight. I couldn’t hand you over. Any of you.”
Looking at him felt like sandpaper over a new burn, fresh and raw. She pressed her bare foot harder against the earth, counting the stones beneath her sole to distract herself from the pain.
But the anger remained.
What do you want, a medal? The caustic words died on her tongue, but their taste lingered as she stared at him. “It’s a little late for confessions, Knox. You crossed the line, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.”
“I know.”
“You know.” Nina’s throat ached, and no amount of blinking seemed to ease her burning eyes. “Well, then. In that case, we have nothing more to say, do we?” She walked past him, careful not to let her bare skin brush his.
“Nina, wait—”
He caught her arm, and her nerve endings screamed. They sang. Fury and lust and heartbreak battled for supremacy, tumbling end over end until they seemed to meld together.
She wanted to lash out, hurt him.
She wanted to cry.
She wanted to ask him why.
The only constant was that she wanted.
“You deserved better than this,” he said quietly. Implacably. “Better than me.”
The soft confession did what none of his apologies and assurances could. The dam inside her broke, and the words rushed out of her. “Why didn’t you ask for my help? You didn’t even try.”
“I thought I couldn’t. People aren’t like that. The world isn’t like that.” He lifted a hand, but stopped short of touching her. “But you … You made me wonder if I was wrong.”
“No.” Ava had kidnapped an innocent person in her quest to wreak vengeance on Nina. And Knox had lied to her with more than words—with every soft touch, every rough whisper in the dark. “No, I think you were right.”
He sucked in a breath as if she’d slapped him.
She’d hurt him. They could go in circles like this, wounding each other, biting and bleeding until there was nothing left but anger and resentment.
Or one of them could make the break, and make it clean.
She pulled her arm free of his grasp. “I’ll make sure to get word to you about how and where you can pick up your truck—”
“Fuck it,” he said roughly. “You can keep it.”
She ignored the words. “I’m not sure when it’ll be, but you have my word. Otherwise—” The lump in her throat threatened to choke her, and she had to swallow hard to speak again. “Leave me alone, Knox.”
He stared at her in silence as protest seethed in his dark eyes. She was sure he was about to open his mouth to argue, to make this bloody and messy.
But he only inclined his head. “That’s what you want?”
“It’s how it has to be.” Misery washed over her, and she finally stopped trying to modulate her voice or hold back her tears. “You