She lowered it when Nina stepped inside. “Well, good morning.”
Nina tossed her key on the dresser with a clatter. “Dani in the bathroom?”
“No, she went out last night.” Maya set the gun aside and cut her music with a tap on her wrist. Then she studied Nina’s face. “You seem more … relaxed.”
“Maya.” Nina’s cheeks burned as she dragged her bag to the foot of the untouched bed and searched for some fresh clothes. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have gone anywhere if I’d known Dani planned to. We shouldn’t have left you alone last night.”
“I can take care of myself, you know. And I kinda needed some space anyway.” Maya’s eyes narrowed. “Also you’re changing the subject.”
“There’s a subject? I thought you were just making a random observation.” She pinned Maya with a look. “You certainly didn’t ask a question.”
“Because I was kind of hoping you’d say, ‘Yeah, I rode that ride and I’m over it.’ Or something about scratching an itch.”
No. Nina didn’t have any expectations, and Knox didn’t owe her anything. But if her attraction to him had been that casual, nothing more than mere curiosity, then she would have kept her damn pants on. “You know me better than that.”
“I know.” Maya sighed, and her voice dropped to a gentle whisper. “I just worry, Nina. Not about the mission, or about us. I know you’ll protect us. But you’re not always as careful with your heart.”
She’d never had to be—or maybe she didn’t know how. Pain was a constant for her, as much a part of her daily existence as breathing. And she’d decided a long time ago that embracing that pain was better than locking herself away from feeling anything at all. If she had, she may as well have curled up and died along with her sisters.
She just couldn’t let things go too far.
Nina slipped off her shoes, exchanged her shirt for a clean one, and unbuttoned her jeans. “I’ll be okay, Maya.”
Usually that would have been the end of it. But Maya shifted up onto her knees and reached out to touch Nina’s arm. “It’s in your voice, when you talk to him. Or about him. I haven’t heard it since Sergei.”
Hearing his name, thinking about him, didn’t hurt the way Nina anticipated. When had that stopped? Probably as gradually as it had begun.
It had started with a chance meeting in the Southside market. Sergei was a fisherman by trade, and he’d come in from the coast with his skipper to sell their catch. He wasn’t really Nina’s type, but she liked his face, and he had a laugh that made her smile. Still, she’d never expected their fun, casual flirtation to turn into anything more than equally fun, casual sex.
Until the day he told her he was leaving. Winter was coming, and the Gulf was better than the blustery Atlantic when the cold weather descended. Shocked and numb, Nina had somehow managed to smile and nod as Sergei told her how great she was, and that maybe he’d roll back around with the spring.
He probably never even realized he’d broken her heart.
Knox knew he would, if she let him. He was living on borrowed time, but his warnings to her seemed to have nothing to do with the threat of his deteriorating physical condition. When he pushed her away—which was hard and often—he spoke only of how ruined he was in other ways.
I’m an asshole.
You can’t trust me.
They ripped all the good out of me, Nina.
All that’s left—
She stripped off her jeans and pulled on a fresh pair of dark green cargo pants. “That was years ago. I’m not that young anymore.”
Maya sighed softly. “If you’re sure. Just be careful, okay? If he hurts you, I’ll have to fork him in the jugular. And I am not as fast as he is.”
Another key jangled in the lock, and Dani stepped in. “Who are we forking?”
Nina frowned. Dani wore a short, tight black dress and lace-up heels. Her makeup was smudged, and her hair was disheveled—though it could have looked that way on purpose. On anyone else, the outfit would have screamed I’m looking for a good time, and you’re going to show me one.
On Dani, they may as well have been tactical fatigues.
“Oh, yeah,” Maya said with a wince. “I, uh, forgot that part. She went out hunting.”
Shit. “Where?” Nina demanded. The answer would determine how much time they had left to get the fuck out