Dead of Winter (Battle of the Bulls #2) - T. S. Joyce Page 0,59
been a hard thing to come to terms with, but now? She watched him thrashing a rider off his back and then looked around at the cheering arena. He’d brought her to a place where she made sense.
She. Made. Sense.
Because he’d looked at her, taken her under his powerful wing, and told her she made sense. And then he told the whole world she made sense, too.
No one could give her a bigger gift.
She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but someday, someway, she was going to repay him.
Chapter Nineteen
This was the part she hadn’t mentally prepared for.
In all honesty, she’d forced herself not to think about it—the goodbye.
She broke the heavy silence in the truck. “Where are you heading next?”
Dead reached over and slid his strong hand around hers. “Lincoln, Nebraska.”
“Whoo, sounds cold.” She shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t really know if it’s cold there. I’ve never been. I’m just…small-talking.”
“We’ll figure things out. I’ll be back near Boise in a couple months on another tour stop. I’ll swing the herd wide, and we’ll spend a couple days near you, okay? I know they’ll be okay with the detour.”
Her lip trembled so she looked out the window to hide how weak she felt. Two months seemed like an eternity. “I would like that.”
His beard tickled her hand as he kissed her knuckles. “You can’t take any more time off work?”
She shook her head jerkily. “I already asked Mona. She can’t spare me for another week, and I understand. We have a very small staff at the shop. She was already so kind to let me off last minute.” That heavy silence was back, the kind that sat on her chest like a fallen tree. “I wish I could stay longer.”
Dead didn’t answer. Only looked at the airport sign they were driving under and rubbed his cheek on her hand as he held it in place.
“I have plants to water, frozen dinners to eat.” She tried joking, wishing she had some magical power to take away the sadness. “And I’ll text you a hundred times a day. I really will. I’m a stage-five clinger now. I’ve learned so much about myself this week, thanks to you.”
He chuckled, but the smile that accompanied the rich sound didn’t reach his eyes. “I see your parents and Annabelle,” he murmured, pulling up to the terminal drop-off.
Annabelle and her parents were waiting by the doors for her and waved when they saw them. Dead parked and hopped out, and as Raven gathered her backpack of clothes she’d collected through the week, they said their goodbyes to Dead. Dad shook his hand and said something low to him, but Raven couldn’t make it out over the roaring in her ears.
This was happening. She had to say goodbye to Dead who’d become a comfort blanket for her over the time they’d known each other.
He’d become an anchor. A lighthouse. A protector. Safety. A confidant. A lover and a friend.
To Raven, he’d become crucial.
When she walked away, Dead would stay behind and keep an important piece of her with him—her heart.
She would have to go home without it.
She would have to go home and walk around pretending like it still beat in her chest. Like she was whole when she wasn’t and, God, it felt like she’d only just learned how to be whole in the first place.
When Dead turned to help her out of the truck, her parents and Annabelle waved, told her, “We’ll meet you inside.” They walked through the sliding glass door and disappeared inside the airport.
Dead turned to Raven. “I’ll send you pictures of everything we do,” he promised, pulling her to him by the hips. “It’ll be like you’re with us. I’ll bring you along.”
Thickness in her throat made it impossible to speak, so she nodded.
“You said something last night when I was a bull. Do you remember what you said?”
She’d told him she loved him. Another nod because she couldn’t squeeze words up her throat quite yet.
“I’ve never said it to a woman before, never felt it, and I don’t say things I don’t mean. I feel it, Raven. I know how important you are.” His piercing blue eyes searched her face. “But if I say it now, you’ll take it as a goodbye, and that ain’t what this is. I’m gonna tell you when I see you next. You understand?”
“You love me?” Her voice shook, and her eyes tingled with welling tears.
He nodded.
“And you’ll tell me