Dead Pretty - Samantha Towle Page 0,71

it when he says in a low voice, “I am sorry, Audrey. I never meant … for this.”

I pause for a second, keeping my back to him.

Then, I just slam the door on his words. So hard that the drywall rattles.

Running to my apartment, I dig in my bag for my keys, blinking away the stupid tears threatening to fall.

Finally, I find them and let myself in, and then I lock the door behind me, sliding all the dead bolts into place.

I slump back against the door and then slide down it until my ass hits the floor. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them. Let my head fall to them.

And I allow the tears to silently run down my legs.

“Audrey.”

The sound of Jack’s deep yet soft voice on the other side of my door jolts me awake.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here, but my ass is numb, my legs are stiff, and the tears I was crying have dried on my face.

Even though everything aches, I don’t move, afraid he’ll hear me.

I hear him sigh. It sounds sad.

I hate that my heart reaches for him. Stupid, dumb heart.

How can I still feel anything for him?

I let myself be vulnerable with Jack. I showed him the worst part of me, and he betrayed me. In the worst possible way.

“Audrey … I know you’re there.” His words are tentative. “I can hear you breathing through the door.”

I instantly hold my breath even though it’s pointless because, like he said, he knows I’m here.

“Look …” he exhales the word. “You don’t have to say anything … just listen to what I have to say. Please.”

I say nothing.

He must take my silence as my acceptance.

It’s not that I want to listen to him. But moving from this spot doesn’t seem doable either.

“I’m sorry I lied. No … that’s wrong. I’m not sorry. Because if I hadn’t lied, I would never have gotten to know you, and for that, I will never be sorry.”

Tears start to pool in the corners of my eyes again.

“But I am sorry for the way you found out. It should have come from me. And I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how. As time went on, it got …” Another sigh. “I knew I would lose you the moment I told you, and I wasn’t ready for that … I don’t know if I ever will be.” I hear his intake of breath. “Audrey … I need you to know that being with you … the way I feel about you … that was never a lie.”

A tear runs down my face.

“I came here … because …”

Why, Jack? Why did you come here? Why did you do this to me? I was fine until you came here and turned my life upside down.

Another sigh. “Toby didn’t kill those women, Audrey.”

The way he calls him Toby. With familiarity.

Because he is his family.

His brother.

The thought makes me feel violently sick.

“It wasn’t him who hurt you that night. I know the evidence pointed his way … but I know my brother. It wasn’t him. And I came here … because you were here. I knew the real killer would follow you here. You were …”

His reason for killing.

He doesn’t say the words. He doesn’t have to.

“An obsession like that doesn’t just stop overnight. I knew he would follow you here. I came … not expecting … you. It is true; I wanted to get close to you, become friendly, so I could … I don’t know. Get some insight. Find out who was in your life. See if anyone was watching you. Following you. I just didn’t fucking expect …”

What, Jack?

Another deep exhale. “You, Audrey. I didn’t expect you.”

He sounds defeated.

“I didn’t expect this between us. To feel the way I do every time I look at you … like … I …”

Like you … what?

Another sigh. I hear movement. A rustle. I can just imagine his hand dragging through his hair the way it does when he can’t find the words he wants to say.

“For a guy whose words make him a living, I am doing a shitty job at expressing what I feel.” A sad-sounding laugh leaves him. “I’m crazy about you, Audrey. When I’m around you … I feel alive in a way I haven’t in a really long time. And I know I lied and that I am the last person you want to trust right