Dead Man's Dinner - Una Gordon Page 0,34

baby and he did need a lot of attention as all small babies do. He was one of those who seemed to exist on the minimum of sleep and then never in the middle of the night. In a way that was a good thing from Gary's point of view. Diana did most of the night work with baby Colin as they had decided to call him. She was then asleep when Gary got up for work and because she was so exhausted by the time he got home at the end of the day, he took over, leaving very little time for communication between them. Although Gary felt he was not giving Diana all the support he should, it was she who eventually apologised to him, saying she felt she was neglecting him. Gary, embarrassed, tried to deny this and he even found difficulty in taking Diana in his arms when she burst into tears.

Frequent visits from his in-laws also reduced the tension in some ways. Gary had thought he would never be pleased to see his mother-in-law, but she had her uses despite the fact she kept telling Diana how to do things. “In my day” became a frequent start to sentences when she spoke and like many mothers and mothers-in-law before her she forgot or ignored the fact that things had changed since her day. Diana sometimes got upset at her interference, but, on the whole, put up with it philosophically. Gary had the feeling that sometimes she was so tired she let most of it wash over her head.

After a few weeks Colin and Gary settled down. The former slept more and the latter thought less of Derwent's note. It would be true to say than an element of doubt crept into Gary's mind. Diana, although he would never say so to her, had quite a naïve streak in her and Gary could not imagine her planning anything underhand like going to Derwent's flat. Surely he couldn't have come to their flat! The horrible thought struck Gary, but he instantly dismissed it. Still one could never be sure. There was always the seventh veil. There could be depths in Diana of which he was quite unaware.

They were out pram pushing in the park one day when Diana suddenly turned to Gary. “Isn't it lovely having our own baby especially after what you were told at the hospital. I never thought I'd become pregnant.” For a moment Gary thought Diana was about to make some kind of confession, but she prattled happily on and as she spoke a fresh idea slowly entered and grew in Gary's mind. Suppose Diana had slept with Derwent for the sole purpose of becoming pregnant because she was desperate for a baby or perhaps even because she knew how Gary felt when he heard he was the one to blame for them not having a child. He felt himself warming towards Diana, seeing her in a self sacrificing role. By the time they got home Gary had convinced himself that she may have slept with Derwent, but only for the most altruistic of reasons. For the first time in months he felt really happy and that night he found no difficulty in making love to Diana for the first time since Colin had been born, but he still couldn't bring himself to ask the all important question. Had she or hadn't she? Still, he tried to convince himself, did it really matter?

Gary remained in this buoyant mood until he heard the rumour several months later. Philip, a friend of his came up to him in the wine bar at lunchtime. “Derwent Mollosey was a friend of yours, wasn't he?”

“Well, I knew him.”

“Coo,” said Philip, “that secret was well kept.”

Gary felt his heart plummet. “What secret?” he asked through dry lips.

“He died of.....” Here Philip lowered his voice and looked round. “The big A.”

Gary's jaw dropped open in horror. “Aids,” he repeated stupidly. “Who told you that?”

“It's all over town, old boy. What's the matter?” asked Philip, seeing Gary's pale face. He laughed coarsely. “You weren't having it off with him, were you?”

Gary didn't even bother to answer, He gulped down the last of his drink and strode back to the office. Fortunately he had nothing urgent to do that afternoon and it was just as well for Gary's mind was a jumble of confused thoughts. Oh, God, I've got to do something. This could affect three lives. Should he make an appointment