picked up a framed picture on the bookcase in his small living room and stared at the seven guys in it. He could almost feel the sweat running down their faces in big drops, the heat pouring down upon them, the sand that stuck to everything—boots, hair, bedsheets. They had been playing football, shirts and skins, and his team—the skins—had won, but they were all smiling and posturing for the picture.
Now three of them were gone—Matty, Tommy, and Derrick. In the blink of an eye one hot summer day in the sandbox, they were dead, and he felt like he was the cause. If he hadn’t had to put fuel in the helicopter, he could have gotten there in time to save Matty. His younger brother was the smart one, the one who was going to be a doctor someday, so Elijah should have been the one to die young. If he had been home, maybe his mother and dad wouldn’t have died in that auto accident. He was like a bad luck penny that kept turning up. He wiped the dust from the top of the picture frame and set it back on the bookcase. He crammed his ball cap on his head, got a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, and went out into the darkness for a walk.
The temperature hadn’t dropped much that evening and the wind stirred up little dust tornadoes in the places where vegetation was sparse. As he headed toward the barn in long strides, some of the dirt flew up into his face, reminding him again of the day of that football game. They were thirty-year-old men, young and invincible. They’d cheated death on so many occasions that they figured they’d live forever.
The air inside the barn was cooler and smelled of horses and hay. From the day he first arrived at Piney Wood, the barn had been his haven. When the past closed in on him, talking to Dynamite helped him work through his problems. The horse was a damn fine listener and knew more of his secrets than anyone on earth, including Henry and Mary.
He had that antsy feeling that said he wasn’t alone long before he saw Jayden leaning on the railing of Dynamite’s horse stall. Without a word, he crossed the barn and joined her, keeping a distance between them. He had mixed emotions about finding her there. Part of him wanted to be angry that she’d invaded his space, but when he mentally flipped the coin, the other side wondered why she’d chosen to come to the barn at that particular time.
“So, you couldn’t sleep, either?” she asked.
“Nope,” he answered.
“My girls are all asleep,” she said. “I wouldn’t have left them if they weren’t.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” he said. “Counselors don’t get demerits.”
“I’m worried about Tiffany. I’ve dealt with girls like her who think that skinny is beautiful. Hell, I’ve had the same feelings. I was never bulimic, but I can sure relate to what she’s going through,” Jayden said.
“You come off as self-assured and . . .” He couldn’t find the right word. Beautiful was on his mind, but that sounded lame.
“That’s the exterior,” she said. “I can feel Tiffany’s pain.”
“That’s exactly what will make you the perfect person to help her get through her troubles.” He took a drink from the longneck bottle of Coors. “If I’d known you were here, I would have brought an extra beer.”
“Is it against the rules for us to have a beer when the girls can’t even have their cigarettes?” she asked.
“We’re the adults, and we didn’t break the law so often that we have to be here.” He handed her the beer. “I’ll share if you’re not afraid to drink after me.”
“Not one bit.” She took the bottle from his hands, took a drink, and handed it back. “Lord have mercy, but this tastes good.”
“I don’t reckon God cares one way or the other,” Elijah laughed. “But a cold one is pretty good at the end of a day like we just had. I saw Carmella going with Tiffany to the hog lot after supper.”
“One of her teammates or I will be with her no matter where she goes. She can’t even shut the bathroom stall door when she goes in there,” Jayden answered. “Have you had girls with eating disorders here at the camp before?”
“A few times, but by the end of the session, they’re usually over that. They need the food to have enough energy