Not only had she failed herself, she had failed Jason. She was leaving him to wallow in his loneliness and struggle for the rest of his life with the demons that drove him to hide away in this jungle. In her mind, she relived every moment she had spent here, trying to discover where she had gone wrong, what she could have done differently. The fact of the matter, as difficult as it was to swallow, was that he didn't care for her, plain and simple.
Well, Jason might not want her, but he needed her. He was just too stubborn to admit it. He would pay the price in loneliness. Would he find another wife, once the marriage was dissolved? She didn't want to think about it. She was miserable enough without adding jealousy to the emotions simmering beneath her surface calm.
He needed her, damn it! Why couldn't he see what he was doing?
In the corner of her eye, she watched Ines mount the stairs and walk slowly across the balcony toward her.
"It is the mail boat," Ines said.
"I know." Caroline wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.
"I will miss you, Senhora."
Caroline's composure nearly broke. She managed to keep the tears at bay, though her voice trembled when she spoke. "And I'll miss you, Ines."
Taking a deep breath, Caroline gathered her dignity around her like a cloak. In a moment, Ines would embrace her, and if she did so, that would be the end of her self-control.
"Come, help me finish packing," Caroline said stiffly, turning away from the door.
Chapter Eight
"What's wrong with it?" Jason called over the unusually loud clamor of the boat's engine. He caught the end of a rope and secured it to the short post set in the pier.
"Don't know yet!" the short, burly man in the boat shouted back.
Jason turned as if he sensed her presence behind him, frowning at what she was certain must be a bewildered expression. His gaze dropped to her bandaged feet, and Caroline tugged at her skirt in an attempt to cover them.
"What's the matter with your feet?" Jason shouted to be heard over the racket made by the boat's motor. The captain cut the engine off in the middle of Jason's question, and the word feet reverberated up and down the jungle like an explosion.
Caroline blushed as the man in the boat gazed curiously at her half-hidden feet. Opening her parasol with as much dignity as she could summon, she tilted her chin defiantly. "You needn't concern yourself. They are sore. Ines bandaged them."
Jason scowled. "That's what you get for running around barefoot like a damned aborigine."
Ignoring his caustic comment, Caroline said, "My bags are packed and ready in my room."
"Well, you might as well go back inside," Jason told her bitterly. "There's a problem with the motor."
"How long will it take to repair?" she asked, silently cursing the hopefulness in her breast. She was a fool. How could she want to stay when he didn't want her here?
The man in the boat leaped onto the pier with more agility than she thought him capable of. It was he who answered her question, doffing his tattered brown hat in a gesture of respect. "Don't know yet, ma'am."
"I'll let you know," Jason assured her. "Go back to the house and get out of this sun."
Caroline bristled at his high-handed manner. But the relief that flowed through her outweighed her indignation. Turning back toward the house, all she could think of was that she had been given another reprieve. It might be a short one, she warned her soaring heart, and it would come to an end when the captain repaired the boat, but at least she wasn't leaving just yet.
Caroline slipped through the door into the small shack, careful not to wake the sick boy should he be sleeping. She'd been coming here for three nights now, and each time his condition had improved. He should be dead; he should have died before she even saw him the first time. The fact that he was not only clinging to life but actually improving could only be attributed to a very strong will to survive.
Caroline waited for Ines to follow her in, then closed the door behind them. Turning to face the interior of the room, she gasped aloud at what met her gaze. The boy sat up in bed, staring at her with a broad smile. His mother sat on the bed beside him, her eyes brimming