branches out and tossing them away. With one arm, he reached over and flipped on the water nozzle in the small shower. Almost immediately, steam began filling the space around them.
He reached down and began to peel off her dirty clothes.
She reached for him. “Ben, I’m fine.”
“Let me.” His voice cracked. “I know you hate the dirt.”
Tenzin nodded and allowed him to pull her tunic over her head. He gently pushed down her leggings, and she stepped out of them. Then she climbed in the shower. He tilted her head back and ran the water through her hair.
She felt the warm rivulets coursing down her body, washing away the dirt that had crusted to her. She stared at his bare chest, dusted grey with ash. Black streaks marked his torso. He was wearing only a pair of loose pants, and she could see the erection rising beneath them, but he was solely focused on her.
Ben took a bar of soap and ran it over her shoulders and down her arms. He rubbed soap in his hands and ghosted them over her breasts and her back, sliding his fingers over her skin.
“You’re covered in ashes.”
“I’m not hurt.”
Tenzin put a hand over his heart, and it offered her two rapid beats before it fell silent. “I miss your heartbeat. Have I told you that?”
His voice was barely over a whisper. “No.”
“I do.” She closed her eyes. “I miss your beautiful dark eyes. I miss the way they used to look at me.”
Ben’s amnis, which he’d held so tightly as he bathed her, broke free and rushed over her. He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist as he fell. He pressed his cheek to her belly and his body shook. She felt everything. His panic, his grief, and his wild, burgeoning rage.
The water was going everywhere, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Come here. Don’t be angry—come here.” She lifted him to his feet and pushed his pants down before she pulled him into the shower.
He kicked the clothes away and climbed in, wrapping his arms around her body again and letting the warm water wash them both.
Ben bathed her as she washed him. The shower was tiny, and they were pressed together, but that didn’t seem to bother him even though his body was far bigger than hers.
He washed her hair and skin meticulously, scrubbing every inch. She washed his chest and rinsed the ashes from his skin.
When they were both clean, he reached for a towel and wrapped her in it.
“Are we safe here?” he asked quietly. “Do you know where they went?”
“Yes, they’re approximately seventy kilometers away. I didn’t find any remnants when I went out to look. We’re alone.”
His voice was barely audible, even to her ears. “I thought you were dead. I didn’t want to believe it—I didn’t think it was possible—but for a few minutes I thought you were gone. And I can’t…” He pressed his lips together. “I don’t have words for what I felt.”
Tenzin sat on the edge of the bed and watched him wrap a towel around his waist. His eyes had aged a hundred years since nightfall. There was an edge of darkness in his amnis that she hadn’t felt before.
“Ben—”
“They tried to kill you.” He looked at the floor. “Who?”
“Vano and his men. They didn’t tell the other Poshani. I’m not sure what they told Radu, but the Poshani caravan was hours gone before they set the trailer on fire.”
“I’m going to kill every one of them.”
“Not tonight.” She reached her hand out. “Come here.”
He hesitated. “You’re right. I’ve been angry with you and with myself. I’m sorry for what I said last night.” He put his hands on his hips, staring at the ground as he avoided her eyes. “I don’t know how to be with you the way I am. I don’t feel like myself. Most nights I wake up and I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“I know who you are,” she said quietly. “I know you said you couldn’t trust me, but—”
His harsh laugh cut her off. “Tenzin, I thought you were dead.”
“I know.”
He finally looked her in the eye, and any hint of humor was gone. “Do you think there’s anything I wouldn’t have done to get you back? Do you think there is a line I wouldn’t have crossed? I know why you did it. Don’t ever explain yourself again.”