I take my Dopp kit into the bathroom and plop it down by the sink closest to my room. The other sink has toiletries littered around it already. Maddie and Brent’s stuff.
I pick up her perfume and smell it. The scent tangles around my chest. I eye Brent’s toothbrush and consider using it to clean the toilet. Instead, I just daydream about it.
“Aiden! C’mon!” James calls from down the hall. “We want to walk and take the gondola to the top of the mountain!”
Of course. Winter activities. It’s why we’re all here. Well, why everyone else is here.
I grab some gear so I don’t freeze my ass off before meeting everyone in the foyer. Jolie is bundling Ford into a tiny red snowsuit that makes it nearly impossible for him to move his arms and legs.
Maddie is having trouble with the zipper on her jacket, so Brent steps forward to help her. She doesn’t realize he’s there and lifts her head just as he moves in close. Her skull collides with his nose.
She gasps. “Crap! I’m sorry!”
“Language!” Jolie hisses.
Brent groans in pain, and I lean in, hoping for blood, but there’s none. He blinks as if he’s trying not to wince, and then he laughs.
“I’m totally fine. Sorry, that’s what I get for trying to be chivalrous.”
Yes, exactly. Lesson learned. Don’t go near her.
“Maddie, I like your hat,” I say.
It’s the red beanie I bought her two Christmases ago. She frowns and reaches up to touch it as if only now realizing that. With a sharp tug, she yanks it off.
“You know, this actually won’t keep me warm enough out on the mountain. Hold on, I’m going to go grab my other one.”
Brent looks at me, and I swear there’s pity in his gaze.
Save it.
“You know what? I forgot my gloves.”
I turn back and head down the hallway after Maddie with my gloves safely tucked in my pocket.
She’s in her room, riffling through her suitcase. The red beanie is on the floor at her feet.
“I have a hat if you need to borrow one.”
My voice makes her jump, but she tries to play it off with a subtle shrug. “It’s fine. I can just…” She shoves clothes aside and groans with annoyance. “It’s in here…somewhere.” Then she whips out a black hat lined with faux fur. “Aha!”
She gives me a big fake smile, positions it on her head, and steps on the red beanie on her way back to the door, which I’m currently leaning against.
I don’t move out of her way.
I narrow my eyes down at her, trying to take a pickaxe to the hard shell she’s surrounding herself with.
“Maddie.”
Her name said in earnest is a plea.
Meet my eyes and let’s work through this. Meet my eyes and tell me what I did wrong.
“Uh-huh?”
Her voice comes out too high-pitched.
“Why are you doing this?”
Her delicate brow arches. “Doing what? Coming back here for my hat? Like I said, the red one—”
“You haven’t even said hello to me.”
“Oh.” She laughs. “Hello.”
Then she brushes by before I can stop her and hurries down the hall.
So this is the name of the game: avoidance.
Let’s see how long it lasts.
Chapter Twelve
Maddie
“Hi Aiden!”
“Welcome back, Aiden!”
“You’re looking very healthy, Aiden!”
Those are all the things I could have said when I first saw him walk into my sister’s house. Instead, I looked up as he strolled in, his dark hair dusted with a light sprinkling of snow, and every ounce of courage I’ve been building up for the last few weeks flew right out the door.
I wasn’t expecting my feelings for him to come rushing back like a tidal wave.
The truth is, it wasn’t easy to move on from him. In fact, it’s proved so difficult, I still haven’t succeeded.
The time since he left for New York has felt like a boring, sad independent film that I’m tired of watching. One day bleeds into the next.
Day 1 without Aiden: wallowed in self-pity.
Day 15 without Aiden: smelled the t-shirt I stole from his closet before the movers came and took all his stuff. No, the irony was not lost on me. I was now one of the sad girls stealing his things in the hopes of hanging on to him for that much longer.
Day 26 without Aiden: attended Stephanie and Elliot’s wedding on my own, barely made it through the ceremony without losing it, left early.
Day 95 without Aiden: walked past our favorite Thai restaurant and started crying so hard on the sidewalk