thought of Catherine, and she knew she had a promise to keep. I can't. I need to find Catherine.
Alice! No! Cardiff is after you! We'll find Catherine together after we deal with him.
Tears burned in Alice's eyes at the idea of leaving him. You don't understand, Ian. I've failed at everything important my whole life. I have to get this one right.
You didn't fail. You saved my life.
Alice's throat tightened. Yes, she'd helped him find peace so he could save his own life, but in return, he'd renewed his focus on his duty and his family's honor. Catherine loves me, Ian. How can I walk away from that? She waited, giving him a chance to speak up, to give her a reason to trust that he would help her kill Catherine in the end, despite his oath and his promise never to do such a thing.
You'll do her no good if you get caught by the wizard. Get back here, Alice! Now!
She closed her eyes, regret filling her. She'd given him an opening to tell her that he loved her, and instead, he'd given her a command. I'm sorry, Ian. Then she let go of the mace and let herself fall.
* * *
Alice! Ian bellowed her name, but she cut him off like a blast of cold death. His body went rigid as the loss tore at him and fear for her well-being sliced through him. He fought it off, struggling to fend off the debilitating grief, but he couldn't get the image of Cardiff out of his mind. Cardiff closing down on her. Grabbing her. Hurting her. Killing her, all to punish Ian. "No!" His voice was a tormented scream, and he tried to channel all the anguish, thrusting it into his body to try to regain the use of his muscles.
But it didn't work. He just lay there, like a useless piece of driftwood, cast upon the shore by a storm that had no use for him. Nothing to be done. He couldn't help her. Couldn't save her. His failure beat at him, stripping away what little sense of self he had left. Gasping for air, he forced his mind off Alice, picturing the graveyard where Augustus and his father were buried. He imagined the headstones in his mind, reading the words inscribed on the marble of his father's memorial.
Here lies Rudolph Fitzgerald, a great father, a mighty warrior, and a legendary member of the Order of the Blade. Honor shall be restored to his name.
Honor. Honor. Ian pictured the word that he'd carved into his own palm that night. Honor. He had to restore honor to his family's name. He had to regain the Fitzgerald place within the Order. Dying over Alice would not accomplish that. He had to be stronger than what she made him, because fear of losing her made him weak. He had to be prepared to fight Cardiff when he came back. He had to be the warrior that no one else in his family had been able to be.
Ian took a deep breath and focused on the starry sky. He breathed in the vast expanse of the night. He studied the full moon, drawing strength from its magic. Its brilliant light filled the night, radiating the same bizarre shade of turquoise that it had the night that Alice had dived into the ocean. Around the moon circled undulating crimson clouds, as if they were stalking the lunar sphere.
Ian focused on the clouds, watching each one carefully until his mind was clear of all thoughts except the clouds. Alice was but a distant buzz around the periphery of his subconscious, almost out of the way. Drawing upon all the years of training with his father, Ian slowly, carefully, intentionally, eradicated Alice from his thoughts, sealing himself off from her. As he did so, he felt the curse recede, replaced by a humming power that he hadn't felt in months, not since the first time Alice had died in his arms.
At the same time, there was a distant ache of loneliness, sadness, and regret, as if he were losing the very thing that made his heart beat... Then it was gone, replaced by the steady, focused mindset of a soldier prepared for battle.
Alice was gone from his heart.
All that was left was a Fitzgerald warrior.
* * *
Alice bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain as she hit the stone floor after releasing the mace. Tears burned in her eyes as her