The Darkest Knight (Guardians of Camelot #3) - Victoria Sue Page 0,9
new light.”
“Me.” Because of course it was. Charles had said that downstairs.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing,” Kay said much louder than he intended. Charles pulled his shorts and pants on and picked up his shirt. “What are you doing?”
“It was not my intent to mislead you. I thought—” He ran a hand over his stricken face. “I thought you just wanted…”
“I don’t understand. You’re my Tresor, and I’m your light.” Kay smiled encouragingly and scrambled out of bed. It meant the same thing whatever name was used. He took a step toward Charles, and Charles took an immediate one back.
“What’s wrong?” Kay asked, dread swirling in his belly where a moment ago it had been warmth and contentment.
“A light is a temporary assignment.”
Kay laughed with just a touch of hysteria. He couldn’t help it. Charles didn’t. “But you’re my Tresor. I know you are.” Charles just didn’t understand how things worked, but that was okay, he had the rest of their lives to explain it.
“No, I’m not.” Charles shook his head. “I cannot give up my life to one person. It’s not who—what—I am.”
Kay opened his mouth, but he didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“If I’d have thought that was what you meant, I wouldn’t have let this happen.” Charles gestured to the bed, and it was like a slap in the face.
Kay jerked back as if Charles really had hit him.
“I’m sorry,” Charles repeated like it made any difference, and he shoved his arms through his shirtsleeves and opened the bedroom door. For a second he paused, and Kay had a moment of hope that burned so brightly in his heart he thought his body would catch fire, but then Charles stepped out into the hallway, and the resulting quiet click of the door as Charles shut it without looking back was louder than if he had rocked the door with force.
Kay didn’t attempt to get back to the bed. His legs just folded underneath him, and he was crying before he hit the floor.
Chapter 3
Charles managed to get to the stairs before he faltered. What have I done? He should never have gone upstairs with Kay. And wouldn’t have done if he’d known for one second Kay thought Charles was his Tresor. Charles wasn’t mortal for starters, and in any case, he had a job to do. A task that transcended everything. Much more important than the wishes of one man. Kay must be mistaken. He had to be. He just regretted… Did he? Did he regret the last hour? No. He had been stunned when Kay had said he wanted him, but he hadn’t realized what he wanted him for. Gawain had called him their butterfly the last time he had been here. That he flitted so quickly from lover to lover they often worried.
He’d thought that the butterfly wanted him, and he had been so flattered, but not to keep. Not to strip him of his own wings. Not for permanency.
Did I? Even as he thought about it, the denial sounded too much like a lie, but to who? Himself? No, he was flattered, and he would never wish to hurt anyone, but this wasn’t his life. It could never be.
He jogged downstairs and walked into the kitchen expecting to find it empty but paused awkwardly as Gawain looked up from making himself a coffee.
Gawain looked as equally stunned to see him but recovered faster. “Everything all right?” Then he flushed like he regretted the impulsive question. Charles eyed him carefully. Gawain had always a reasoned air about him. He would look at home in front of a lecture theater or in a laboratory. He generally thought of Gawain as the scholar, an extension of the computer almost, but Gawain was a knight, and while he didn’t go out much, he didn’t seem to have problems fighting when he had to.
He was also the knight he knew the least about even if they had spent many hours trying to translate the notebooks Mel had gotten from his father which ultimately had helped Tom and Lucan defeat Aalardin.
“He wants more than I can give him,” Charles said honestly, surprising even himself at his ready admission.
Gawain looked uncomfortable for a moment but then poured a second coffee and nodded to the door. “I’ve been doing some research.”
Charles took the mug and the hint and followed Gawain, sitting down in front of the second screen. “Did you finish the translations?”