get in touch with my brother Seldrid. Use my name, if you need to. Then give him this.” He handed her another letter. “Tell him about Teriana, her crew, the Empire. All of it. He’ll get you in contact with Maarin crews and make certain you have everything else you need. He’s a good man—you can trust him.”
Her jaw was trembling. Speech was impossible, so she only nodded again.
“You get back home, all right?” His hands caught her elbows, holding her steady. “You unseat that bastard Cassius. You get Teriana and the rest of the Maarin free. And if Hegeria is still with you, use your mark to heal your father.”
“I will.” A hot tear rolled down her cheek.
“And you go with Teriana.” His voice was hoarse. “Stay with the Maarin or sail with them until you find somewhere you love. Then make a good life for yourself. Don’t let those Cel bastards keep you.”
His grip on her arms was tight, and Lydia stepped forward, only inches separating them. “I could come back.”
Wind whistled down the street, an empty straw basket tumbling along with it. The war-horse pawed the ground, pinning his ears before trying to kick the basket. But Killian didn’t answer.
Then his hand slid down her arm to grip her hand. “In another life, I’d get down on my knees and beg you to come back. Might beg you not to go in the first place.”
Her heart was beating so very quickly, a promise sitting on her tongue, waiting to be spoken.
Only to be silenced as Killian shook his head. “Don’t come back to Mudamora, Lydia. There is nothing here for you but pain.” He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “Good luck. May the Six guide and protect your steps back to Teriana’s side.”
Turning, he strode toward the enormous horse and swung into the saddle, heeling the animal into a swift canter up the street.
He didn’t look back.
Lydia didn’t know how long she stood there unmoving. A minute. A lifetime.
There is nothing here for you. Not in Mudaire. Not on a Maarin ship. Not in Celendor. Was there something for her anywhere? Was there anywhere that she belonged?
Silencing the thoughts, she shoved the letters into her satchel and closed the door, heading up the street in the opposite direction toward the harbor.
A scuffle of sound caught her attention, and she peered into the blurry shadows. Wary of those who might attack her to take the few possessions she had, Lydia extracted her knife, moving to the center of the street and stopping in her tracks as Gwen stepped out from an alley.
“Been looking for you,” the other girl said. “You disappeared.”
“I was fired, remember?”
“Still could’ve said good-bye.”
Gwen was right. She should’ve. These girls had been her friends for the past month. Had held her hand when she’d cried. Guarded her back. Made her laugh when she believed laughter impossible. Good-bye was the least of what she owed them. “I’m sorry.”
Gwen started toward her, hands in the pockets of her coat. “Come back to the palace with me. Do things right before you hightail it south.”
The skin on the back of Lydia’s neck prickled, and she turned to see two of the other guardswomen walking up the street behind her, Lena following reluctantly in their wake. What was going on?
“Seems like I can say my good-byes right here.” The palm of her hand holding the knife was slick with sweat.
“Better if you come with us.”
They were approaching her on all sides. None of them had weapons in hand, but neither did they need them. All of them knew how to use their fists. “What’s going on?”
Gwen’s face was grim, and she gave a weary shake of her head. “I told you not to get involved with him. Told you it would be the worst sort of trouble. But you didn’t listen.”
“It’s not like that.” Lydia’s free hand balled into a fist of frustration. If only she could tell them the truth: About her being a healer. About Killian hiring her because she could see the corrupted. About how he was helping her get back home. That he’d been teaching her to fight so she could protect herself.
But was that the whole truth? Or was the person she was lying to herself?
“We followed him here,” Gwen said. “And from our vantage, it looked exactly like that.”
Run.
Lydia bolted, trying to get past Gwen, but the other girl dived, hitting her in the legs. They tumbled across the