The dark side of the sun - By Terry Pratchett Page 0,49

find there?’

‘On present showing, a damn great bomb.’ He saw her flinch. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that. Famous, eh?’

‘There’s a dozen ships in orbit, most of them Terra Novaean and Whole Erse. More turn up every hour. Ptarmigan is very angry about it. I haven’t quite understood it all, but I gather that everyone wants to kidnap you. Is it true that you’ll discover Jokers World in five days’ time, whatever happens?’

‘I expect so. How come everyone knows?’

‘Well, you haven’t been keeping it a secret, have you? United Spies are in on it too. Ptarmigan has to send special squads out every hour to sweep up those little robot insects they keep dropping on the palace. One got into the kitchen and opened the oven on a soufflé, and that’s outside all the rules!’

‘Is one of the ships Creapii?’

‘I don’t know.’

Tarli leaned round his young stepmother and nodded. ‘My apologies, O Dom, but I have been overhearing the conversation—’

‘Eavesdropping,’ said Keja sternly.

‘—and as a matter of fact one of the ships is a Crepii VMFTL squareship, Chain Stars registration.’

‘Chain Stars, eh? Oh, boy.’ A thought struck him and his hand flew to his belt. ‘Keja, was there a bottle—’

‘It’s safe. My maid said one of the security men told her that it contains the Water of Life. Not that I’m prying, of course.’

‘Of course not. In the last few days I’ve nearly been killed, overdrawn at the Bank, I’ve breathed for an hour underwater, I’ve got into orbit by a very bawdy method, and I’ve had a swim on the surface of a star. Oh yes. And I walked out of the Maze on Minos even though my chest was smashed up. Life is one gay round. Someone ought to start writing my biography now, before it’s too late!’

‘Try him, then,’ said Keja, indicating a diner on the far side of the table. Dom recognized the scarred man and his battered robot.

‘That’s Charles Sub-Lunar, isn’t it? The one they call the Renaissance Man?’

Keja saw the man and the robot looking at them, and raised her glass and smiled. Under cover of this she said: ‘Yes, and Joker expert. And historian. His poetry is rather good, too. Did you know he was the one who deciphered the Joker language?’

‘The poet and the mad computer,’ quoted Dom.

‘Yes, though he’s not really mad. I don’t know who the poet was. His servant is quite fascinating, too, don’t you think he looks fascinating with all those scars, Dom? Dom?’

‘Uh, yes,’ said Dom, slowly. He twirled his wineglass thoughtfully. ‘Funny, isn’t it, you form an impression of people … I think I’d like a word with him. Excuse me.’

Dom sidled round the table, but had not been careful enough. Joan caught him lightly by the arm – lightly it looked, at least, but there was a knowledge of anatomy behind the hold.

‘Good evening, Grandson. You have been mixing with some very bad company, it seems. Ways is the chief torpedo of the Joker Institute.’

Dom sighed. ‘All right, Grandmother. I suppose you have been prying into my mind?’

‘Well, you were unconscious and it naturally seemed the logical thing to do.’

‘Oh, naturally.’

‘Don’t be peevish, this is real life. Every security man in the galaxy knows about Ways. Once he assassinated the deputy-chief of United Spies, you know. He’s a robot with a killer instinct. I see you’ve still got that swamp crawler?’

‘He’s spent a little time with Ways. I think it’s likely that he’s been booby-trapped,’ said Dom. ‘I wouldn’t worry too much.’

‘You think you’re invulnerable. Don’t bank on it,’ said Joan. She glared at Ig.

The Emperor rose slowly to his feet and rang a small black bell. The diners began to leave the table. Dom saw Sub-Lunar and his serving man disappear into the crowd.

‘What happens now?’ he asked. ‘I understand everyone’s waiting for me to make a move.’

‘Are you going to discover Jokers World?’

Most of the diners had left. The Emperor bowed to them and left them seated. Across the room Hrsh-Hgn and Isaac chatted to Tarli.

‘I think so,’ said Dom. ‘I’m getting the ...the sort of outline of it already. It’s not a planet. I mean, it may be a planet but … well, Widdershins is a planet, with an orbit, a hydrosphere and a magnetic field and so on, but Widdershins is also a world and a culture.’

‘I see,’ said Joan. ‘I wonder where it could be?’

‘I’ve got five days, less now, so that rules out most places outside the life-bubble. I think