now. I told Jaime that her mom had to go to California to visit you. I said Brad was sick, but not too sick. I’m not sure what else to say to her to account for her mother’s disappearance.” The truth was too ugly to tell. It was hard enough for the adults to try and understand, let alone a child her age, not yet four.
After he spoke to his own parents, he had messages from his brothers. They wanted to know what they could do to help. They offered to take Jaime, but he wanted to be with her, and keep her at the apartment with him. It was where they both belonged.
He asked Fiona to come in to help him, and explained the situation to her too. She was so shocked she burst into tears. “Imagine if Jaime had died,” she said in a choked voice. And she felt sorry for Zoe too. It was impossible to understand someone so sick that they would risk killing their own child to try to “rescue” them, and pretend to be a hero, not the murderer that she almost was. The whole idea was desperate and sick, and twisted beyond belief. It was exactly what Paul Anders had described to Cathy, that usually when women with Munchausen by proxy killed their children, it was because their plan had gotten out of hand. Zoe had thought she could impress everyone and save Jaime in a spectacular way with the epinephrine shot, but there was no way she could have. Jaime’s allergy was too severe, even more than Zoe understood.
Cathy had called Paul Anders that morning and told him what had happened. None of it surprised him, but he was sorry for Austin and his child.
They’d already heard that the story was going to be in the press the next day, probably on the front page. Austin was sure that no one at the non-profit would believe it. Not Zoe the saint and fabulous mother, it just couldn’t be. She had fooled so many people, even her husband for a long time. Austin felt gullible and foolish and guilty now for not reporting her to CPS sooner, but he hadn’t been sure. It seemed so unreal for so long, and at times she was so loving with Jaime that he thought his fears were wrong. In this case, there was a high price to being right.
Cathy called to check on them as soon as they got home. Austin had just given Jaime lunch, and Fiona was due in any minute.
“How are you two doing?” she asked in a tone of concern.
“We’re okay,” he said, still sounding shell-shocked. “I have to figure out where to go from here, and what to tell Jaime eventually. I can’t tell her that her mother is in California forever. Maybe she could write to her from wherever she is.” Or maybe it would be better to let go now. He didn’t want curiosity gnawing at Jaime later, but he also knew that he could never allow Zoe back into their life. She didn’t belong there. It was a privilege someone would have to earn now to come into their home. It wasn’t a casual thing, open to anyone who drifted through or wanted to visit. It was a sacred trust people had to deserve. He needed to protect himself and Jaime, so nothing like it ever happened again, and he was sure it never would. He had been blind when he’d married Zoe, and the cracks deep within her had never shown until after Jaime was born, and then everything inside her began to crack and break apart. He saw that now.
He called Zoe’s mother too, which was harder than calling Brad. She was a more withdrawn woman, and parts of her were dead, just as parts of Zoe were broken and had been since her sister died. Beth had never been able to give Zoe what she needed, embrace Jaime or reach out to Austin, and now he had to tell her that her other daughter was lost forever. Beth sounded sad but not surprised.
“I always knew something like this would happen one day. I saw it, but I didn’t know how to stop it. It was like a train coming at her. There’s nothing you can do for her, Austin, there never was. Don’t torture yourself. Take care of yourself and have a good life, whatever that is to you.”