seen the baby on Skype and thought she was beautiful.
Sadly, she and Zoe had never grown close again after her years of being disconnected and drowning in her own grief, but they had a friendly relationship. Zoe had been closer to her father for most of her life, while her mother was so involved with Rose, and then nearly catatonic in her sorrow after. The chasm between them had never narrowed after that, and all that Zoe remembered were the years of her mother paying no attention to her, both before and after Rose’s death. There was no animosity or bitterness between them, just distance, in a cordial way. Her not coming to see Jaime by the time she was six months old hadn’t helped to bring them closer again. It was a missed opportunity Beth hadn’t seized, yet again. She had been an extraordinary mother to Rose, but not to Zoe, once Rose got sick. It was too late to rewind history.
Austin and Zoe had found Jamala through friends, and not an agency. She had worked for them for six years and they raved about her, how careful she was, how loving and devoted. All of their children were in school now and they no longer needed her. The wife of the couple she had worked for didn’t have a job, and was home when the children got home from school, or their housekeeper babysat for them. So Jamala was thrilled to find a job with a six-month-old baby, starting all over again where she was needed. All of her children and grandchildren lived in Jamaica and she missed her family. And Zoe was relieved to have someone who came so highly recommended.
Zoe had Jamala start two weeks before she was due back at work, so she could observe her, and she liked what she saw. And to be sure that she really did follow the rules, they had six nanny cams installed in hidden locations throughout the apartment, so they could check on what she was doing. It was Zoe’s idea, and Austin thought it unnecessary and excessive, but if it reassured Zoe, he was willing to do it. He knew how hard it was going to be for her to leave the baby every day. She hadn’t left Jaime for an instant since she was born. She hadn’t been to lunch with a friend, or even gone shopping without her. She and Austin hadn’t been to a movie, and the only restaurants they went to were the ones where they could take Jaime in her stroller. Zoe wanted to be with their baby 24/7, and felt it was crucial for her early development.
It had curtailed private adult time for her and Austin, but he was hoping that Jamala would be willing to work some nights and weekends, so that he and Zoe could get out for some “date nights.” He was longing for that, and Jamala said she would. Austin was really looking forward to it, and couldn’t wait to spend time with his wife again. He had missed it terribly, and it was irksome at times to have to share her so constantly, although he loved their baby too. But their life had gotten very different very quickly, literally overnight, and he wanted to recapture some of the romance in their relationship. Zoe said that sounded good to her too, but so far had done nothing about it. Her first priority was Jaime now, not Austin, who often felt like the forgotten man.
Jamala followed all of Zoe’s rules during the two weeks that Zoe observed her closely. And she was confident that Jamala knew what she was doing, but she still looked bereft the first day she had to go back to work. She had left a freezer full of breast milk and had been pumping for weeks before. There was enough in the freezer for her to leave the baby for a month, which she would never do. She had the smaller pump boxed to take to work with her, so her nursing wouldn’t get disrupted and her milk wouldn’t diminish. She had left dozens of additional instructions she wrote up the night before, and every possible emergency number.
Austin thought he’d never get her out the door on her first day back at work at the non-profit that had been so important to her, but not as important as their baby, who was her all-consuming passion now. Zoe cried as she got dressed,