children, there would be less time for him. He could see that now. He felt as though he had lost a big part of Zoe. She was already more of a mother than a wife. He hadn’t expected that from her. Having a baby was so much harder than they’d anticipated.
Her eyes filled with tears as he said it. “You don’t know that nothing will happen to her. My parents thought that about Rose too. Nothing is sure in life. I learned that a long time ago. I hope nothing ever happens to her. That’s the best we can do, and make sure that we protect her from danger.” They already loved her, and Zoe would have given her life for her, even though the past two weeks had been difficult.
“You’re a wonderful mother,” Austin said gently, and kissed her, and she smiled at him.
“I want to be.”
“You already are. The little vampire has turned your boobs into hamburger meat. Remind her that I want them back one day.” Zoe smiled at that, and they managed to cuddle for a while, until Jaime woke up again. They were slowly getting the hang of parenting a brand new baby, and they were both pleased that she had gained weight.
The following week was Austin’s last week at home from the office before he had to go back to work. Zoe had been grateful to have him there to encourage her, and watch the baby when she wanted to take a shower or wash her hair, or do a load of laundry. They had someone come in to clean twice a week, but the rest of the time, Zoe would be on her own when Austin went back to the office. She knew they’d have to hire a nanny when she went back to work herself, but she didn’t want to think about that yet. She realized now how lucky her mother had been to have a husband who worked at home when their daughters were born. Zoe dreaded going back to work now and leaving the baby. Her life of running the shelter seemed like another person’s. She missed the children, but being with her own child seemed much more real.
She was thinking about how scary it would be without Austin when he was at work, and managing it all on her own, as she looked down at the baby and let out a scream. She startled Austin, who was reading in bed next to her, and he saw panic on her face when he looked up, glanced at the baby, and saw that she was totally still, deathly pale and turning gray. He could tell that she wasn’t breathing, and her eyes looked glazed. He grabbed her from Zoe and shook her gently as though to wake her up. There was no sound or reaction for almost a minute as Zoe’s heart pounded while she watched, and then the baby took a breath and started crying heartily. She was breathing again, but still very pale, as Zoe leapt out of bed and ran to dress, and called over her shoulder to Austin, still holding the crying baby, and he looked as pale as Jaime. She had terrified them both.
“We have to get her to the hospital, or call 911,” she said as she hastily pulled on jeans and a sweatshirt, put her feet into shoes, and went to take Jaime from him, so he could dress too. “Which do you think we should do?” He thought about it as he put on his own jeans, a sweater, and tied his running shoes.
“She’s breathing now,” he said in a shaking voice. “Let’s take her to the hospital. It’s only a few minutes from here.”
Zoe quickly wrapped the baby in a blanket, put a little pink knit cap on her, and grabbed the diaper bag. A minute later, they were out of the apartment, dashed from the elevator on the ground floor, rushed out of the building, and hailed a cab. He handed the driver a twenty-dollar bill and told him to get them to NYU hospital as fast as he could. Jaime wasn’t crying and seemed surprisingly quiet, but she was alert. They were at the emergency entrance to the hospital in minutes and rushed inside to speak to the nurse at the desk and explain what had happened. They were told to wait for a few minutes. Zoe held Jaime, while Austin filled out the forms, and Zoe called