The Dark Side - Danielle Steel Page 0,13
experienced nurse could have them on the right path in a week or two, and they could get some sleep, all of which would relieve the stress for them. She could see how tense they were, and the baby could feel it too.
“I’m not putting my five-day-old baby on a schedule. That’s abusive,” Zoe said with a look of steely determination in response to the doctor’s suggestion. Austin had never seen Zoe as obsessive about anything as she was about the nursing. “And I don’t want anyone handling her except the two of us. We need to bond with her. We don’t want a nurse.” She spoke for Austin too, although he wanted one desperately. He wanted his wife back, not the stressed anxious wreck she was becoming ever since the baby was born. The gentle woman he loved had turned into a shrew.
“You already are on a schedule, just not a good one,” Dr. Clark said smoothly, “and I can give you a list of reliable nurses if you want to try one. We’ve used them all before. It might put some semblance of order back into your life,” she offered helpfully. Austin looked pleadingly at Zoe, and she shook her head.
“I can’t do this every night when I go back to work,” he warned her, and Zoe looked daggers at him. They were suddenly becoming adversaries instead of allies.
“She’ll be fine in three weeks,” Zoe tried to sound convincing. The books had told her that healthy babies adjust after the first month.
“Not if we don’t train her, and you and I don’t know how to do it. We’ve demonstrated that amply in the last five days.” He sounded annoyed too. She was being unreasonable and it seemed ridiculous to him.
“She’s not a dog, for heaven’s sake, or a trained seal,” Zoe shot at him.
“No,” Cathy Clark said quietly, trying to calm them, “but babies can be stubborn, and they’re clever little beings even at this age. They know when they’ve got you on the run, and they take advantage of it. They can feel it when someone is confident and experienced. It’s comforting for them. I don’t think it’s abusive to put a baby on a schedule.” Cathy sounded calm to reassure them. “And a good baby nurse could teach you a few tricks of the trade too. Our parents are usually very pleased with them.” She was all in favor of it.
“I don’t need tricks, I’m her mother. I don’t want her to get confused about who is,” Zoe said desperately, feeling ganged up on.
“She won’t.” Cathy smiled at them. “You’re the milk producer. A nurse might help you get some sleep, which would be good for you.” She looked at Zoe when she said it, but she wasn’t convinced. They thanked the doctor and left a few minutes later. Zoe was quiet when they got in the car, and Jaime fell asleep as soon as they started moving. She was exhausted from the doctor’s visit, and so were they, after five nights of almost no sleep.
“Why are you so against at least having a night nurse?” Austin asked her, it seemed irrational to him. His mother thought they should have one too. “My mom had baby nurses for us, and I’m not hopelessly screwed up, or confused about who my mother is. And none of us are axe murderers.” Zoe was being rigid and inflexible, which was new to him.
“We don’t need a baby nurse,” Zoe said stubbornly. “She has us. I don’t want a stranger handling our baby.”
“She’d probably be safer with a nurse than with us, if we don’t know what we’re doing, and neither of us does.” Instinct had not kicked in for either of them, or the baby yet.
“We just have to get used to nursing, without putting her on a schedule. On demand is better for her, even if it’s hard on us. Every book I read said so.”
“I haven’t slept since the day before you gave birth,” he grumbled. He normally wasn’t a complainer, but sleep deprivation was affecting both of them. They had been arguing all week, about everything, and feeding times were fraught with tension, which he was sure the baby could feel too. His mother had dropped by to visit, and she felt sorry for both of them. They were nervous, stressed, exhausted, and confused. And Zoe didn’t want advice from anyone. She had her own ideas, and intended to stick to them.
They drove