She couldn’t stop thinking about him. She was certain she was clinically obsessed with an apparition. How could he have been real? The doctors had told her she was out a long time. Who knew what went on in one’s brain when they were under anesthesia? If she told her sister and brother she wasn’t so much looking for the perfect cave as she was the man trapped in one, they’d definitely haul her butt to a head doctor. There was no way to explain her need to find him to anyone.
She’d been placed on leave, as was typical when one of the professional protectors was injured on the job. She hadn’t gone back to the States, but when Gabrielle and Jubal had come to visit her, to help her with physical therapy, she convinced them to go to the Carpathian Mountains and go caving with her.
In the beginning she’d tried to ignore the whispered intimacy, but eventually she’d succumbed to the sheer lure of it. She’d carried on silly conversations with him, sometimes philosophical ones, and God help her, sexy, nearly erotic exchanges she couldn’t imagine herself having with anyone else. The voice in her head had been growing stronger since she’d entered Romania, as if, finally, she was much closer to him.
What are you doing?
The voice came out of nowhere, unexpectedly as it always did, catching her by surprise. Masculine. Sometimes amused. Sometimes teasing. Always alluring. She tried not to hear it. Tried not to respond. But she could never help herself. She always talked to him. Laughed with him. Wanted him.
In spite of the beauty of his voice, this time he sounded infinitely weary, strained, as if he were in pain. She’d never heard that particular note in his voice and it alarmed her. Was he hurt? Could he be hurt? If she wasn’t crazy, that meant he was real and she didn’t need to feel crazy most of the time. Right now, maybe a little bit.
“Come on, I’m so close to the entrance I should be able to see it. Jubal,” Joie appealed to her brother. “You know I’m right. I’m always right. There’s a network of caves, most of them unexplored, and we’re right on top of it.”
Okay, not a little crazy. Joie was certain she’d already begun her descent into madness. She’d rather be with that voice in her head than with any real person in the world. She lived to hear that voice. She thought about him day and night, had become consumed by him.
Joie lifted her chin a little defiantly and reached for him—her imaginary friend who was fast becoming an imaginary lover.
I’m proving you don’t exist so I can get over you. I have a list of would-be lovers a mile long, and I’d like to have a little fun for a change.
You’re too close. I can feel you. You have to leave. This mountain is dangerous.
Joie frowned, studying the snow-capped rock face. She was so close to the hidden entrance. So close. The mountain needed to breathe, a soft sigh of air and she would have it.
Of course you would say that. You don’t want me to know you aren’t real. She stepped to her left, skirting around an outcropping. She could feel the entrance now. Her body responded, excited. Eager. And it had nothing to do with him. Look, honey, it’s been fun, but we have to break up. I can’t have a mythical lover, even if you’re an awesome lover in my dreams. A girl wants to have the real thing once in a while. It isn’t like I can introduce you to my family. Hey, guys, this is my invisible pal, Traian. He has a name like a locomotive, but that’s my fantastic imagination.
Traian is a very old and respected name.
She heard the amusement seep into his voice, but it was still very strained and a terrible urgency to get to him fast took seed in her heart.
Go away from here, Joie. I will not comment on your name, as it would be considered extremely rude.
Comment away, Traian. You’re not real and neither is this conversation, so insult me all you want.
“You’re always looking down when you should be looking up, Joie,” Gabrielle said with a sigh. “If you reach straight up, you might be able to catch a cloud. Have you even noticed the flowers? They’re gorgeous. I wish I knew what they were called. For once in your life, think of something besides caves.”