If there was ever a moment I would want to sear into my memory, it would be this. Kai worshipping me. The way every part of him morphs from want, to hunger, to desperation, to absolute submission.
Just for me.
Tugging at his hair, I reluctantly drag him off me, watching as the strings of saliva and pre-come become our only connection. When his tongue instinctively darts out to lick his lips clean, I guide the head of my cock to trace the shape of his well-used mouth.
I mark him the only way I can, knowing that no matter how good this part always is, he can never be mine, and we can never be more.
Wishing the world to melt away, I push my dick between his lips and thrust into his mouth till all I can do is feel.
Overwhelmed by the complexity of my feelings for Kai, coupled with lust, and the absolute obsession of having him at my beck and call, every part of me trembles as my balls tighten and my body erupts in release.
Fuck.
Flooding Kai’s mouth, I keep my eyes closed and my lips sealed, scared he’ll see the truth in my eyes, or in a haze of pure bliss it will involuntarily slip from my lips. When my heavy, satisfied breathing subsides, Kai slides off my cock, and I risk lowering my eyes to look at him.
He’s staring up at me, and the look of vulnerability on his face makes me hate myself. Pretending not to see, pretending not to feel, I tuck myself back in and step around him. “Meet me in the office when you get cleaned up,” I say dryly.
When I reach the locked door, I turn and take a last look at Kai who’s now on his feet, body bent over, brushing the glass off his knees. Every part of me wants to go back and be the one to do it for him. To take care of him.
Shaking my head, I rid myself of the ridiculous train of thought and punch in the four-digit code then walk in. Second to my bedroom, this place has the best view. Overlooking Central Park, the whole space is a reminder of how far I’ve come and what I’ve done to get from the boy I once was to the man I am right now.
A low whistle announces Kai’s entrance, the hardened man all of New York knows returning; the pliant man on his knees nowhere in sight. I hear the click of the door and turn to watch his eyes roam across the picture-filled walls around us.
“When did you do all this?” he asks.
“Around the time the fifth body showed up.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Leading him to my desk, I ignore the question. It’s not often that we do something without the other one knowing, but considering what I found out, it felt necessary to wait until the moment was right to share it with him.
Sitting down behind my desk, I hand Kai a dossier with more information than we both could’ve bargained for, and he takes the seat opposite me.
As he flicks through everything the private investigator has managed to dig up, I start to explain what I think is going on.
“At first I thought it was competition. Someone who wanted in on the market.” It’s not uncommon to get these punk-ass newbies who think they have what it takes to move organs across both state and international lines without getting caught. Every now and then someone wants to give it a go, and Kai and I watch until they fuck themselves over.
But this one’s different.
This one is definitely personal.
“I know every single one of the people he’s killed,” I reveal to Kai. Before he has the chance to open his mouth, I hurriedly answer, wanting to get this part out of the way. “They’re all men I’ve been with.”
Because I can’t have you.
Because I can’t love you.
“He keeps leaving clues all over the bodies. The carvings are perfect, practiced with a level of expertise that just doesn’t show up anywhere,” I explain. “And whoever it is has managed to replicate our insignia on their skin, so everyone thinks it’s us not cleaning up after ourselves. And I’ve kept my ears to the ground. Nobody is trading any of those organs. Not even the hearts.”
Everybody knows hearts make the most money, further solidifying whoever this is, is doing this for all the wrong reasons.