Dark Curse (Darkhaven Saga #5) - Danielle Rose Page 0,24

might never speak about this again. But I can’t let him stop here. I have to know more. I have to know who Will is. Deep down, he carries a heaviness with him, and it is destroying my heart to know he is in such pain.

“If I were in your situation, I would not want my powers back either. I would live my days as a human, maybe actually meet someone who can relate to me now that I am not constantly craving her blood.”

“Then why do you want me to sever the link and reverse my spell?” I ask, confused. The question bursts from me before I realize I am even speaking, and I groan internally, worrying Will might clam up now that I have spoken.

“Because I am selfish and weak. That is all I have ever been.”

“You are not weak, Will. You are not even selfish. You single-handedly helped me try to locate Liv when no one else would. You did not know her. You owed her nothing, yet you risked your life to help me locate her. That is not something a selfish person would do.”

Will smiles. “You only see the good side of me. You do not see the side that is desperate not to lose you. I finally found someone who understands what it is like to be…different. Not human. Not witch. Not vampire. But something else. And I am terrified I will lose you, and I will be alone again. I want you to complete the ritual, but that does not mean you should. I mean, and I hate to say this because I worry it will influence your decision, but I would not do it if I were you.”

I think about what Will says, about how hard that admission must have been for him. I understand what it feels like to feel so utterly devoted to someone, you would die for him or her. When I think too hard about my feelings for Jasik, that is what I sense. Unrelenting, unstoppable, uncontainable devotion. And it scares me.

“But that is the difference between you and me,” Will says. “I do not want this life. I can tell you do. You have all this…” He nods at the vampires mingling in the other room. “Look around, Ava. There are dozens of vampires here. All of them would probably die for you. You have a family. You have the one thing I have searched this earth for but failed to find.”

“I am sorry,” I whisper.

Will frowns. “Why are you sorry? It is not your fault that my life is like this.”

“But it is…” I say.

“How? You did not bite me. You did not leave me to watch as you murdered my entire coven while I went through the agonizing transition. You did not leave me to wake alone, to come to terms both with my change and the loss of my family in the same horrible minute. Nothing about my pathetic life is your fault.”

“The vampire was suppressed,” I whisper. “Hikari killed Liv in order to help me, and in doing so, she sacrificed your freedom from darkness. If she did not—”

“If she did not, I would not have been revived. If I was not a hybrid right now, I would not have been able to travel the world, and I would not have discovered the reversal spell that you need to find yourself again.”

I shake my head, realizing there is no point in arguing. Will and I will never agree on where to place the blame. I feel responsible for everything that has happened until this point, even if he refuses to see it the way I do.

“Look at me, Ava. I would change nothing, absolutely nothing, about the past couple of months. I searched for another hybrid every day since I transitioned, and when I finally found one, I clung on to her. I never had any intention of leaving you behind. I knew the vampires would trust me in time, and I knew you would too. I regret nothing about our encounter and the events that occurred after. You should not either.”

“I wish things could be different for you,” I admit.

“Me too. In all my travels, I have met some pretty powerful witches. I might have found a way to sever that link so you can reverse the spell and restore your powers, but I have not found the key to what I really want.”

“And what is that?” I ask.

“A cure.”

I frown. “A