Dark Choices - I. T. Lucas Page 0,80

her belly. “I’ll call my baby a precious miracle.”

57

Edna

All the talk about pregnancies and babies was making Edna wistful, and jealous, and a little resentful, which in turn made her angry at herself.

It wasn’t Syssi and Amanda’s fault that her situation had no easy solution. She should be happy for them.

“I talked with Merlin,” Jacki said. “He told me that I should wait six months before trying to get pregnant because I need to fully transition first. But since Kalugal and I aren’t using contraceptives, it can just happen, right? Maybe we won’t need his potions. I hear that they are awful.”

“They are.” Syssi took a sip from her glass. “I think he does it on purpose to make sure that the couples seeking his help really want to conceive.”

Amanda waved a dismissive hand. “Some people think that it’s all psychological and that his potions don’t do anything and they are just placebos. So far, you are the only one who’s gotten pregnant with his help, and it could have been a fluke.”

“How many are trying?” Jacki asked.

“Let me think.” Amanda tapped her finger over her upper lip. “I know about Bridget, Vivian, and Gertrude. I know that Callie is not, and neither is Wonder. Ella is not ready either. I think Ruth is going for it, but I don’t know about Sylvia and Sharon. I don’t think Tessa is ready either.”

“What about Kri?” Jacki asked.

“I don’t think so. She and Michael are too busy with work and school. They are both attending an online college.”

Hearing about all those happy couples with their uncomplicated lives didn’t make Edna feel any better. Maybe she should join the men outside and ask Kian for one of his small cigars.

Except, she didn’t smoke, and the cigar would only make her nauseous, and not for the right reasons.

“What’s the matter, Edna?” Amanda asked. “You were smiling, and now you look like you have a sour lemon stuck in your mouth again.”

“Amanda!” Syssi gasped. “That’s such a nasty thing to say. Edna is upset because Rufsur is leaving later tonight. Leave her be.”

Amanda shook her head. “Come on, Edna. I know that there is more to it. Talk to me.”

Edna put her margarita glass down. “I wish there was a simple solution for Rufsur and me, and that I could join your lovely discussion about pregnancies and babies.”

“You can have a baby with Rufsur,” Syssi said. “Even if you get pregnant right away, which probably won’t happen that fast, by the time the baby is born, a solution might present itself. I know that you are opposed to the idea of Kalugal and his men joining the clan, but that is Annani’s ultimate goal, and what Annani wants, she eventually gets.”

Syssi’s words brought about a surge of hope that started deep in Edna’s belly and radiated up to her face, but then reality slapped it back down. “Annani rarely orders Kian and Sari to do things they are opposed to, and there is no way Kian is going to agree. Not unless we find a workable solution. But Rufsur and I have been wracking our brains, and I even consulted with William, but so far, Rufsur has hit a brick wall with Kalugal. He’s not willing to compromise. I didn’t try Kian yet, but I have a feeling his response will be the same.”

Syssi leaned forward. “The last time we talked, you were vehemently opposed to the idea of Kalugal and his men joining the clan.”

“I changed my mind. As you said, life is not black and white, but a million shades of gray, and things never fit neatly into the boxes we build for them. You said that you prefer a messy box to an empty one, and I realized that I also don’t want my box to remain empty, but since my tolerance for mess is limited, I need to find a workable solution. Rufsur and I came up with the idea of forming a federation of two independent communities. The problem is that Kalugal is not open to it at all, and I doubt Kian is either.”

“He is not.” Syssi grimaced. “I guess we all got the same idea after Kalugal made the comment about Sari and her people moving here, and the two arms of the clan forming a federation. I talked with Kian about it earlier, and he is not willing to consider anything. He doesn’t trust Kalugal.”

“Kalugal is the same,” Jacki said. “Rufsur came over earlier, and the two