Dark Celebration Page 0,57

at me."

He caught her hands and pulled them from her face, staring into her eyes. "I love you more than life itself. So we can't make love with me on top. Is that some sort of red badge of courage to force yourself into a position you feel threatened in? Do you honestly, for one moment, think what position we have sex in is important to me?"

"It is to me," she whispered, ducking her head. "I'm so ashamed I can't love my lifemate the way he deserves. I can heal the earth after the worst of battles, but I can't heal myself. I can't be a decent mate to you. I try so hard, Barack, I really want you. I love the way you make me feel as if I'm the only woman in the world, as if no one else could ever please you, but I can't do it. I can't."

He swept his arm around her head and dragged her against him. "You're an idiot, Syndil. You love me and that is all that matters. The rest of this is just silliness. I'd make love to you standing on my head if that was how you wanted me." He caught her chin and forced her head up. "Do you really think I can't look into your mind and see how much you love me?"

"But you have to suppress your own nature all the time, Barack."

He burst out laughing. "Being a dominant, overbearing male isn't always best, Syndil. Don't you think Darius has to occasionally suppress that side of him for Tempest, and that she might wish he'd do it a little more? And Julian definitely has to work at it for Desari. The same with Dayan and Corinne. It's our nature to be in command, but you are the light to our darkness. Unrelenting dominance has to be balanced by you."

"But you were never like Darius, Barack. You get bossy, but..." She trailed off, but there was hope in her eyes when she framed his face with her hands.

"Because all of us allow Darius to lead us does not mean we do not have these natural traits. You didn't see them in me before because we did not share minds. Darius is a strong leader. We are content in his leadership." A small grin flashed briefly on his face. "He does most of the work, and that suits me just fine. But in the end, we all have the traits nature dictated to us. The point, my beautiful love, is that you, as my lifemate, bring me balance."

"I do?"

He bent his head to press a small kiss over each eyelid. "You do," he assured her. He trailed kisses down her face to the corner of her mouth. "And I am grateful. Darkness spreads and we have to fight it every day."

"But it wasn't in you-not like the others," Syndil said.

"Because of you. Even before I made my claim on you, you were already providing a balance for me. Syndil, you aren't just my lifemate. You're my life, my only love, my world. I have known you since you were a babe, I watched you grow into a remarkable, talented, unbelievable woman. Look at what you do with the earth. Who else can work such a miracle?" He kissed the tip of her nose, feathered his lips over hers and slid his tongue along the seam of her mouth. "I was in love with you long before I ever knew what a lifemate was."

"Are you sure, Barack?" There were still tears gleaming in her eyes, but her lips moved

against his. "You have to be sure."

"That is the only thing I'm sure of." His mouth found hers and he lifted her gently, settling her over his lap, waiting for her to settle over him like a sheath over a sword.

Syndil's breath caught in her throat. He filled her, fit so snug, so exquisitely tight that the silky friction sent fire dancing once again through her veins. One moment she was in tears, the next he was lifting her toward the heavens. She linked her fingers behind his neck and eased back, her body moving in a familiar rhythm as she began to ride him. She couldn't imagine how she had gotten through her life without him. He made her feel beautiful and extraordinary when she was certain she really wasn't.

"I love you, Barack." She pulled back to look into his eyes. "I really love you."

The sight of her took his breath.