Daring Devlin (Lost Boys #1) - Jessica Lemmon Page 0,53

for you?” I asked as I backed into the kitchen.

“Rena,” he warned.

“This whole ‘no one loves me’ routine?”

“Thin ice.” Another warning I happily ignored.

“If you want me to leave, you’ll have to throw me into the hallway wearing only this blanket.”

“Oh, you think I won’t?” He advanced another step, scarily serious.

“I dare you.” I held the liquor bottle over the sink in the kitchen island and watched his face turn an impressive shade of red. “You’re cut off.”

I upended the bottle. The contents glugged down the drain. He swore and rushed me, grabbing my biceps with a firm hold. I met his wild gaze in challenge. I wasn’t afraid of him. I refused to be.

Teeth pulled into a grimace, he growled, “Get out.”

The blanket loosened and fluttered to the floor. For a scant second his gaze jerked down to my naked body. He was weak. For me. His hold on me was firm, but he wasn’t hurting me.

I shook my head left then right, then left again. A slow-motion No.

The flex of his fingers and flaring nostrils told me I might end up in front of Schantz Theater wearing only a blanket. I elevated my chin, daring him. He wanted a taste of the bad girl? Here she was.

Our standoff lasted through the count of twenty. During that time I came to the realization that I didn’t want to fight to stay with him. Not when he was being an asshole. It just so happened I’d gotten what I wanted tonight, too.

“Fine. I’ll go.” I grabbed the blanket and walked to the living room, not bothering to cover up. I hated conceding. I hated more that Devlin was being a coward. Moments after the only real conversation we’d ever had, he’d been as cowardly as if he’d taken the first available lifeboat off the Titanic.

What a wimp.

I snatched up my clothes and pulled them on, not caring if he watched. Halfway through buttoning my shirt, he said my name.

“Rena. Hang on.” His expression was almost pained.

“I’ve been here too long already,” I snapped.

Gently, much too gently, he laid his hand over mine. Then he finished what I’d started, sliding button after button through the holes of my work shirt until he reached my neck. He flipped my hair from my collar and let it fall over my shoulders.

“I’ll give you money for a cab.”

His words were like a slap. He was actually sending me home? My shoulders drooped, my body heavy. This was what being with Devlin was like. In all its agonizing glory.

“I can’t, Rena.” His voice was soft. I tried to guard against that softness. Tried to be glad he was hurting almost as much as I was. That was the most honest thing he’d said to me… second to him admitting he didn’t want to be alone.

“What can’t you do?” I whispered, unable to keep from asking. This was gentle Devlin, and I wanted to hang onto him as long as possible. I didn’t like the angry, emotionless guy I’d stolen a bottle of liquor from moments ago. I wanted this one—vulnerable, real. He straightened my shirt collar, and spoke quieter than before. “I can’t make love to you, and hold you all night, and tell you how much I care about you.”

Every heartbeat had barbed hooks that sliced into my chest. Why couldn’t he do that? I wanted that. More than I’d wanted anything in a long, long time. The silence stretched between us while I waited for him to change his mind.

“I can’t.” Heavy lids closed over the honesty in his eyes.

“Just fuck me,” I heard myself say. Despite the bitter taste of resentment filling my mouth and the pain slicing my chest, I wanted him still. I wanted what he’d give me. I would take what I could get. I kissed him, softly, sweetly. Then I palmed his face and looked directly into his eyes and said, “Fuck me and leave me alone in bed and don’t say a goddamned thing.”

His eyes darkened with desire. I was wrong when I thought I was giving him the bad girl earlier. This was the bad girl. I scratched my fingernails down his bare chest to the snap on his jeans.

“Don’t make me leave.” I unzipped his fly. “You don’t want me to.” Pressing my lips against his naked chest, I kissed one flat male nipple and then the other. I kissed my way down his torso. There was something I’d been wanting to do that I