my face went up in flames. I must’ve been really out of it this time to have slept through the whole thing.
I kept my eyes on my son, who seemed content to lay back against his father’s chest as he tried eating his toes. Words cannot express how horrible I felt at the fact that he didn’t even seem to miss me. Then he looked over at me and that smile so like his father’s split across his face, and I felt all the love I held for this little being well up inside me.
I could’ve sung a chorus of hallelujahs when he reached out his arms for me, and when Calen just kissed his little head before passing him off to me, I treasured the little moment. It was the first that we’d shared without any hint of animosity between us. “I have some business to tend to now that you’re up, or do you need another few hours of rest?”
His words weren’t exactly biting, but there was no mistaking the censure in his voice. “Are you in the habit of sleeping the day away while my son fends for himself?” It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that it was his fault that I’d been so tired but thought better of it. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t.”
He left the room after that leaving me feeling like an absolute failure. I guess in his mind, we’d both gone to bed at the same time, and if he could be up and about, so should I. But it had been years since I’d taken part in such extracurricular activities while he probably hadn’t stopped long enough for the ink to dry on our divorce before moving on. I bet I knew who he’d moved onto.
I brushed that thought away the same way I had been for the first year after I left when it was all I could think about. The thoughts had been so debilitating that my therapist had threatened to medicate me if I didn’t get a grip on my emotions. She could have no idea how hard it was for me to imagine Calen with the one woman I always knew was more his match that I could ever be.
Dana was one of those perfect specimens of blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty and a body that had been sculpted by a master. She was perfect in every way, and there wasn’t a day of my marriage that I didn’t question why my husband hadn’t married her when he could’ve. It was obvious to everyone, well to me at least that she would’ve jumped at the offer.
Though I was never brave enough to broach the subject with Calen when we were married for fear of rocking the boat, it’s something that I’d always wondered about. Add the fact that Dana tended to be jovial when others were around but gave me the cold silent treatment when it was just her, and I left alone in a room, and I was doubly sure that the other woman had designs on my husband.
The thought that she had been there to pick up the pieces after I left had kept me awake many a night. But I had to satisfy myself with the knowledge that I was doing this for Calen. That it was the only way to save him from my mother and whatever mayhem she could cause.
As if I’d conjured her, I heard her voice coming down the hallway and wasn’t surprised. Everyone else would’ve been relegated to the other side of the house away from the private quarters, not Calen’s best friend though; she’d always pretty much had the run of the house, something I always hated but was too insecure to contest.
The door to the nursery flung open, and she stood there with a look I found hard to read on her face. There was no missing the fleeting anger that crossed her face though before she hid it behind one of her most charming smiles. If I made mention of it now, Calen would never believe me since he couldn’t see her face from his position behind her back.
She made her way towards me, and my son and I held onto him tighter. Something inside of me seized up, and I went cold all over at the thought of her touching my son, and I found myself doing something I would’ve never thought possible. “I’m sorry, he needs changing, if you’ll