standing up on his not yet steady legs, holding onto the top of the makeshift crib with big fat tears rolling down his cheeks as his lip trembled; damn near broke my heart. I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him cry, and although as his daddy, I know that it’s silly to think it, I sincerely hope that it is my last.
“Okay, baby, daddy’s here.” I lifted him and held him close to my chest as I tried to remember everything I’d learned in the crash coarse I’d given myself from YouTube videos. “Right, let’s check your diaper.” I approached it the way I would tackle any insurmountable thing like I needed to conquer.
I found the diapers, the wipes, the cream, and the medicated powder I’d bought because I read that it was good to put on him after cleaning him up. I’m not going to lie, but I pulled back the tabs of his diaper with trepidation and released a huge sigh of relief when it was only wetness I found. “Whew, thanks, buddy, for taking it easy on daddy.”
I wrestled the new diaper in place then had to use the security monitor slash computer in his room to pull up the YouTube video on how to proceed. It took some doing, but eventually, we got it right. I did notice that he wasn’t babbling at me, though, but still sniffling. Food, maybe he’s hungry.
I wasn’t sure that at his age, he was still nursing in the middle of the night, but a quick search reassured me that he might be, so I took him to his mother. Speaking of which, why the hell didn’t she come to him? I was working up a good mad when I opened the door to the room she was staying in and saw her on the bed, out cold.
How the hell am I supposed to do this? Calen Jr., upon seeing her, started to fuss again and held out his arms towards the bed. I walked closer, still not sure what to do here until common sense kicked in. I placed him on the bed next to her, but my aversion to being close to her kicked in for a second, and I was stuck. Fuck!
My son needed me; that’s the only reason I did what I did next. Mom had found her something to sleep in, I guess, and wouldn’t you know, it was one of my dress shirts. I slipped a few of the buttons open, wondering how the hell she could sleep through this shit while trying to stay detached.
Once I released her nipple, which was attached to a much fuller tit than I remember, I had to swallow really hard as I turned my son’s head towards her and led him to drink. That didn’t take too much work since lil buddy seemed to know just what to do and latched on like a limpet, though I had to get on the bed behind him and hold him in place.
She still didn’t awaken right away. Maybe she was emotionally drained from the rollercoaster ride of the last few days, but it was fine because I was enjoying this moment with my son and her without her annoying ass knowing. No sooner had I had the thought than her eyes came slowly open. They landed on mine, and two things happened at once.
I finally remembered that I’d gone to bed naked and had rushed out of my room without stopping to rectify that, and she smiled at me. I’m not sure what the hell she’d been dreaming about before she woke up, but I was damn sure that smile wasn’t for me. But then she reached out and cupped my cheek. “Calen!”
That’s the way she used to call my name when she was feeling especially tender towards me. Before I knew what the hell I was doing, I was letting her draw me down to her until our lips were barely a breath apart. I came to my senses real fast, knew that I should pull back and away. But the moment, the sight of my son feeding from her, and the emotion of the last day and a half all culminated to make me throw caution to the wind.
Not to mention the memory of that kiss we’d shared in the garden; the kiss that had left me wanting more. Her lips gave beneath mine and opened up to let me in with my tongue, which went