the signs after years of training. As I got older, I knew not to trust any kind of affection and to evade accordingly.
A hug like this one would usually end with some form of physical attack, either a punch to the gut or a slap across the face. So when Rebecca ignored my unease and wrapped her arms around me anyway, I flinched, expecting the harsh words that I was sure were going to be whispered in my ear. That was another form of attack as well.
“How are you, dear? It’s so good to see you.” She pulled back and took both of my hands in hers, my shaking hands. I tried to bring myself under control, not willing to give too much away, but her greeting and the lack of malice or hatred was almost too much for me to bear.
“I’m sure my son has forgotten to thank you, so let me be the first to do it. Thank you very much for my grandson. I can’t wait for my husband to meet him. He’s out of town until tomorrow, so I hope you don’t mind if we come by first thing in the morning, as I’m sure he’ll want to see the baby as soon as he lands.
I’d almost forgotten what a steamroller she is. I started to answer her, not sure what I was going to say since I had no idea what the next day would bring, but Calen cut me off before I could speak. “You don’t need to ask her permission, mom. The baby will be here, of course. You and dad may come by anytime you’d like. I’ll be working from home for the next little while, at least until my son gets settled in.”
Calen said this as he was looking at me over the baby’s head, and my knees almost gave out on me. What did he mean? I almost asked him that, sure that we were about to argue, but Rebecca interrupted me this time.
“Oh. Does that mean you’ve set up the nursery? How fun. I know you two have some stuff to work out, so I’m guessing Giselle, you’re staying in the wife’s quarters; it’s closest to the nursery after all and would be perfect until you two get things sorted.”
“Mom!” Oh, dear! Calen looks like he wants to strangle his poor mother. The wife’s quarters is the other half of the master suite. Since the house is an exact replica of a sixteenth-century castle, it came equipped with rooms built the way they had been back then, when men and women slept separately. I never slept there before, of course, and from the look on Calen’s face, I wasn’t about to sleep there now either.
It was too close, too much like a married couple since there was only a thin door separating the two rooms. “Calen, this is the best solution, don’t you think?” Rebecca carried on as if he hadn’t interrupted her. “Right now, my grandson’s needs and his best interests are the only things that matter. We, adults, are just going to have to compromise. Isn’t that right cupcake?” She walked over to the baby and squeezed his cheek playfully, and my heart twisted when my son chortled and reached out for his grandma.
I never thought he’d have this. My own mother wouldn’t get near him, not that I’d let her, and I see now how my plans to keep him and I sequestered from the world wasn’t good for him. I’d started taking him outside, sure, but my plan was to keep him at home with me as much as possible for fear of what mom might do somewhere along the way.
Now seeing how lively and happy he was with two complete strangers made me see the error of my ways. My son was starving for affection, pretty much the same way I had been after my dad died. The realization made me feel awful. It felt like I was as much of an abuser as my mother had been to me.
My ears started buzzing, and I was sure that I was going to pass out any second from the wave of nausea that overcame me. I closed my eyes and opened them again just as quickly only to find Calen watching me.
CALEN
What game is she playing now? She’s putting it on kind of thick since mom came up with her nonsensical idea. It didn’t cross my mind to let her stay. I had planned to