boundaries. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to.”
Heath took my hand in his where it was still on his thigh. He grinned, a little shy, a little excited. “I’ve never thought about anything like this before, but that sounds… really, really good.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I couldn’t quite be sure if I heard right. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Heath said. “I’m tired.” He laughed a little self-effacingly and ran his free hand through his hair. “Tired of making all the choices. Figuring things out. I mean, I’m proud of how much I’ve grown, and I want to be able to stand on my own. But sometimes I just want to lean on someone else, you know? Relax. I’ve never—I’ve never been able to do that, really. I’m always too worried about getting things right.”
“You don’t have to get anything right with me,” I said gently. “All you have to do is listen. And just keep being yourself.”
Heath slumped a little, like my words bled some of the tension out of his body. “Really?”
I nodded. “And you still have a lot of control, too. You’re just gifting it to me when we play. I like using the traffic-light system when I’m in control,” I said. “Pretty simple. Green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. If you ever say red, I stop—no questions asked.”
Heath looked a little nervous, but nodded. “Makes sense.”
“It’s just to make things easier in the moment,” I said soothingly. “Easier for me to check in with you. Sometimes I’ll ask your color to make sure you’re okay, and there’s no right answer. Just whatever you’re feeling, so I know if you’re having a good time, or if we need to switch gears so you can have a good time.”
That seemed to ease his nerves. “Okay.”
“Can I show you?” I took his face in both hands and tilted it up to face mine.
His brown eyes were huge and curious and still a little nervous. But I knew now, once he let me take care of him, that all those nerves would melt away. And I wanted so desperately to be the one who could do that for him.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “Please.”
I kissed him again, slowly, but deeply. Heath sighed into my mouth and reached for me—I caught his wrist in one hand and guided it back to the couch. “Don’t touch,” I murmured into the kiss. “Not yet.”
Heath shivered and nodded. We kissed for a long moment, and Heath kept his hands exactly where I’d directed him, even though I could see his fingers flex with the difficulty of doing so.
“You’re so pretty.” I skated my hands up his sides, rucking his shirt up as I went. Heath shivered again, his cheeks flushing under my touch. “Take this off and get on the bed.”
Heath inhaled a little, a quick, surprised sound. But then he nodded and slowly stood up from the couch.
I leaned against the back of the couch and watched Heath strip his shirt over his head in one fluid motion. He was slim, but delicately muscled—his shoulder blades shifting like bird wings. Then he sat at the foot of the bed, his hands tucked between his knees like he was trying to make himself smaller.
“Hm.” I stood up so I could see him better and hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my jeans. “Don’t do that.”
He bit his lip and looked up at me, his big brown eyes curious. “What?”
“Make yourself smaller,” I said. “I want to see you.”
Heath swallowed. “Not much to see.”
I raked my fingers through his hair, and then gripped his hair gently. I pulled carefully—not hard, just a little tug—and he gasped as I tilted his face up to look at mine. “I think you’re gorgeous,” I said.
His lips parted as he looked up at me. I couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss him again.
“Scoot back,” I instructed. “Flat on your back. Hands above your head.”
Heath sighed into the kiss, but after I pushed encouragingly at his hips, he shifted back into the position I wanted. He stretched his arms overhead and circled one wrist with the opposite hand, and the slight stretch elongated his body into one long, slim line.
“Wanna tell me your color?” I skated my hand across his body, from the hollow of his throat, over his small hard nipples, across his lean abs. I rested my palm at the button of his jeans.