Standing, I walked toward her, moving just behind. I took a deep breath as I placed my hands on her shoulders, half expecting her to run away. The moment she leaned against me, I felt her tension release just as she’d done for me moments before. “Who and what I am are two different things, Savannah. While I can’t share aspects of my life with you, the man you’ve spent time with no one is usually allowed to see.”
“A man hiding behind a mask.”
“Aren’t we all? Sometimes it’s necessary to pretend in order to stay alive. Masks allow us to salvage what little humanity we might have left.”
“Humanity. You make that sound like you enjoy showcasing a dark side of yourself. If you ask me, some masks are more like prisons.”
I nodded twice, glancing back toward the ocean, almost mesmerized by the rolling waves. “Make no mistake, Savannah. You don’t want to know the other side of me for any reason. He is... merciless on many levels, preferring to live life without giving a shit about anyone or anything else.”
Savannah turned in my arms, tilting her head. “That is very sad, Rafael. Perhaps you’re right in that I don’t want to know that man. I woke up to see a gun on the nightstand after a night where the man I’d shared a bed with had barely slept. As if you were waiting for someone to break into your house. You weren’t certain who I was just minutes ago even though there are no houses for miles. You’re ready to start a war, just like you had no qualms about killing a man chasing after me. You are merciless, yet I saw a moment of true tenderness.”
“As I said, no one else is allowed to see that man. No one.” I was more rattled by her ability to peel away the layers than I wanted to admit.
“You make some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard yet you seem to be a shell. If it breaks, you will be lost. Trust me, I know that experience very well. One day it will too late unless you make the decision to rip away the hard casing.”
There was nothing I could say, and I could tell by her eyes that she thought my hesitation was shutting her down, sending her away.
She rose onto her tiptoes, placing a kiss on my cheek before moving away. “I’m going to take a shower. I hope that’s all right.”
Swallowing, I closed my eyes, a headache settling in. “Of course.” As usual, the darkness had burst through the surface and slithered into the light, breaking the beautiful moment.
I was frozen on the spot, tingling all over as I pressed two fingers on the location where her lips had just been. She’d seen through me, digging her way into the true nature of the beast hiding under the cloak of steel. She’d sensed my loneliness, the pretense that had kept me alive.
Let her go. Forget about her. Do. Your. Job.
The words flashed in my mind. Ones my father would say. My brother. Right now, I didn’t give a shit. I took a last deep breath of the air, drinking in the salty spray and the musky scent of the sand. Even for a blip in time, I was happier than I’d been in years. I took long strides back to the house, trotting into the bedroom. I glanced at the nightstand, snarling at the sight of the weapon. I could tell she’d actually had it in her hand, garnering disgust.
Was it from the shock of seeing the cold hard steel of a weapon or the concern for her safety? A growl slipped up from my throat as I yanked off my clothes, tossing them onto the floor as I walked toward the bathroom. I could hear the water running, the sound forcing a tightness in my balls. I was drunk from need, overwhelmed by my burning desire.
She was just a woman after all. I could have anyone I wanted.
I had to have her.
To take her.
To taste her.
To... protect her.
The bizarre dichotomy was not something I’d face today. As I opened the shower door, I expected a cry of surprise. When she turned around, still standing under one of the showerheads, my entire body began to ache. I crowded her space, planting my hands on either side of her. I could still gather a scent of the ocean spray covering us, the fragrance adding to the sin of