tried, no matter what outlandish story I’d concocted, I would always know that I didn’t belong. Blast and hell, but I felt restless in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Lord Chambers,” someone called out. “How are…”
I ignored the man and turned down a hall. The roar of the ballroom faded. Only a few people stood in the halls, couples mingling in shadows who were too busy enraptured with each other to notice me.
“Do you like to watch, Ginny?”
I could still feel her body pressed to mine, the mixture of French perfumes upon her maid’s dress.
“Watch what?”
“They’re a handsome couple. Do you like to watch people make love? It’s alright, you know…many do.”
Still feel her soft lips on me. Her hands wrapping around my shoulders.
“They even have places where you can pay to watch, you know.”
“P…pay to watch people make love?” she whispered.
A tightness gripped my chest, squeezing my lungs.
“Chambers,” Landcaster called out merrily as he stumbled toward me. Judging by the gleam in his eyes he was already foxed. I didn’t miss the way Miss Rose Liddle scurried from the shadows. They’d been having fun. “Where are you off too? A little indiscretion?”
“Of course,” I muttered, brushing by him and continuing on, ignoring his chuckle.
A small dance, my mother had claimed. At least two-hundred crowded the ballroom. I’d realized the moment I’d entered what this truly was about…my supposed engagement. The many sly smiles, the murmured congratulations. I turned another corner. Blessed silence. I could call it off. Miranda’s reputation would be ruined. My parents would be furious. Did I care?
I needed a wife. I needed an heir. Otherwise, what was the point of all of this? The lies, the deception, the pain. I didn’t have time to question every debutante, nor did I want to. I’d been acquainted with Miranda since I was ten. Despite the fact that she liked to flirt, and worse, she knew how to manage the ton. And, damn it all, the money she came with would get us out of debt.
I sensed her presence just as I stepped into my library. She slid inside before I shut the door. The scent of rose-water and lavender strong and familiar. Too strong. Too familiar.
“Leaving without me?” she murmured.
I turned to face her. “Miranda.”
She was blue-blooded through and through. She, at least, belonged here. And mayhap that was truly why I was thinking about wedding her. I tried not to let my annoyance show. I feared I did a poor job.
Not one to give up, she sashayed toward me. The pale blue gown she wore hugged her chest, her corset pushing her breast up near to her chin. While the coloring screamed innocence, those light blue eyes sparkled with experience. She knew exactly what she was doing. Not that it was her fault. She’d been trained since she was a young lady to seduce.
“Come, don’t be upset.” She paused in front of me, straightened my cravat, then trailed pale, delicate hands down my chest. Hands that hadn’t ever seen a day’s work. Would I forever compare her to Ginny? “You seem to spend too much time alone lately. That’s why you need me…to get you out and about. To make connections.”
She wasn’t wrong. Her hands paused at my waist. I didn’t miss the way she lowered her gaze, perhaps looking for signs of attraction. There were none. I felt cold. Empty. I gripped her wrists, and brushed aside her touch. I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want anyone in this room…my sanctuary. And it had nothing to do with the fact that it reminded me of Ginny.
“And as far as the boy is concerned…”
My hands curled at my sides. “What do you know of the boy?”
She blushed. “Forgive me for being forward. You’re a good man, Gabriel, taking care of a bastard child like that.”
“He’s not mine.” I released a harsh laugh and strolled to the fireplace. “And no, I’m not a good man. If you only knew what I’d done…”
I’d said too much. Frustrated, I raked back my hair. What had my parents told her about Tommy?
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She strolled toward the bookshelves, glancing disinterestedly at the many volumes. “I never believed the rumors about you harming your father. Anyone could have shot that gun. There were multiple men hunting that day. Even your dear brother, Christopher.”
I stiffened. What was she getting at? “You don’t believe it an accident?”
She shrugged, having the decency at least to blush. “Has it never crossed