The tapping of rain against the glass startled me. I hadn’t had a memory in months. Why did they seem so bloody real? Another me. Another world. Another life. An urgent part of me clamored to escape this house, to find that world I dreamt about, and prove it was real. But most of me knew it was an impossible illusion.
Desperate, I glanced at the lane below. Jumping would be rather anti-climactic as I was a story high. Instead of escape, I’d probably break a leg, be forced to sit there in the chill rain until someone carried me back inside. And as I was close to weighing as much as a horse, that might take some time. With a broken leg, I’d be bedridden, unable to escape the woman, should the need arise…
I rested my hand on my swollen belly and watched the rain make wobbly trails down the thick panes. Where would I go? What would I do? I had no prospects, no family. Nothing. It wasn’t the pregnancy hampering my decisions, it was my lot in life. I gently rubbed my belly. As if sensing my touch, the baby moved. She was always moving lately, as eager to escape her prison as I. Oh, but I didn’t want her to leave. To leave would mean she would be out in this harsh world, vulnerable.
It was a she. I knew that as fact. I would stake my very life on it, even as I prayed to God I was wrong. To be a woman of no means in this world was to be no better than a cow for slaughter. What would happen to her?
I searched the skyline for the answer I needed. In the distance I could see the smoke from Mr. McKinnon’s factory. He seemed so close, yet was so very far away. I never should have left. How I wished I was back in that garret room with Violet. But that past seemed like a dream. A faded memory.
As much as I missed our garret room, it was the north that called to me. The north, where the trees and roses grew, and homes were large and impressive. Where the streets were clean and even the servants educated and arrogant. The north, where Gabe lived.
Bringing a child into this cold, harsh world where she’d have little opportunity because of her lot in life terrified me. But just north of here was splendor. Wealth. Privilege. Dare I go to Gabe and beg for money? Would he give me the means to care for our child? Or would he demand retribution for every coin? Hell, he probably wouldn’t even remember me. Would most likely never claim a bastard child as his own.
Almost nine months had gone by. To Gabe, I was the past. No doubt he’d found another mistress. Perhaps even gotten married.
No. I would not go to him unless I was on the street and my daughter was starving. I turned away from the windows where I’d been thinking of throwing up the sash and dropping like a sack of potatoes to the stone patio below.
“You look pale, Ginny.”
The deep voice startled me, although I didn’t dare show it. Mr. Wrolf stood near the door; a tall, impressive shadow of a man. “Veritably ill.”
He looked elegant and lean in his dark suit. Elegant, lean and powerful. He started toward me like a wolf hunting prey. I shivered. He noticed. I could see it in the gleam of his eyes. He enjoyed frightening me. He did not pause until he stood only a breath away. He smelled of leather and pomade. Not unpleasant, but a scent associated with him, and therefore unwelcome.
His long, cool fingers brushed under my chin, tilting my head. “Very ill.”
I stepped back. There was a predatory nature about the gent that made me uneasy. I’d seen the same look on men in the slums, before they’d pushed me up against the wall and tried to shove their dirty hands up my skirts.
“Also round,” I said with a nervous laugh. “Don’t forget round.”
His gaze slid down my body, making me regret my comment. “Yes. You do seem to have put on more weight than most women.”
Heated embarrassment shot to my face. Discreetly, I glanced down at my protruding belly that pushed at the seams of my black gown. I’d always had a rather curvy body, but I didn’t seem to be larger than