have a wife who would run this home. A wife who would belong in such splendor. I didn’t belong here. I didn’t belong with him. But…I wanted him.
I wanted him to look at me with such heat that I felt as if I would melt like beeswax. I wanted him to kiss me with such passion that my knees buckled, and I no longer felt connected to my body. I wanted to stay up late at night arguing about everything from astronomy to the hierarchy of society. I wanted to forget. I wanted him.
The front door stood before me, wide and ominous.
I could leave. Bolt out into the cold.
But where would I go…wearing a nightgown, none the less?
Truth was, my lack of proper clothing was an excuse. I liked feeling warm and secure. I liked anticipating his arrival at night. A bitter wind rattled the door, making the decision for me. Not tonight. I’d be an idiot to leave tonight.
I found the library just left of the stairs. Inside, the hearth glowed eerily, red and yellow embers that were doing their best to survive. I adored this library. A library I’d seen only once when I’d undressed before him on the night of my arrival.
Softly, I closed the door behind me. Most of the staff were sleeping. If I was quiet, no one would know I had claimed this room.
There were no evergreen boughs, no mistletoe, nothing that hinted at Christmas cheer. But the scent of lemon beeswax, coal ash, and leather-bound books filled the air. And something spicy…male…something familiar. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Gabe. I could smell Gabe in the very air.
Although the area was covered in shadows, I could make out the floor to ceiling shelves, filled with books. Shelves so tall that a ladder had been propped against the far end. So many books, so many stories, so much knowledge that my heart thundered madly with excitement. If I became his mistress, I could buy my own books. I would never be bored. Never have to work. I could save my money, buy a cottage for me and Violet in the country, where I could read and she could write until we were utterly content.
I reached out and drew my fingers over the closest novel, breathed in the leathery scent. I would never tire of that smell. Then I spotted it…an entire section on astronomy only feet away. It was too much, a dream. Brand new books that seemed as if they’d come from the shop only recently.
I pulled the first book from the shelf.
A Study of Stars.
Tugging a blanket and pillow from the settee, I propped myself upon the carpet in front of the weak fire. The light would not last long. With trembling fingers, I flipped open the book. Page after page of information on the stars. I turned to the first, intent on reading as much as I could before the light went out for good, when something in the very air shifted.
The fine hairs on my arms stood on end. I hadn’t heard the door open, but I felt a presence. Slowly, I lowered my book. A servant? No. But male. Yes…a man. Him.
I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to sigh. Gabe had arrived. Determined not to cower like some virginal miss, I glanced over my shoulder.
Seeing him sent my heart racing. He stood in the doorway, dressed in a fine dinner suit, the dark color contrasting against his golden hair. Perhaps he’d gone to the opera, or a play. Maybe a ball with his friends and family. Or maybe he’d visited a mistress. I shifted, tucking my slippered feet under the hem of my plain, white nightgown. I felt completely exposed.
He shut the door behind him. “You’ve left your room. That’s progress.”
“Yes, and I could progress even farther if you’d bring me my clothes.”
“And then you wouldn’t have a lovely roof over your head. As much food as you’d like.” He glanced around the room. “Books?”
Flushing, I tucked my chin to my chest. Outside, the wind still shook the window panes, demanding entrance. But it was warm, so very warm in here. “I like to read.”
“Of course you do.”
Was that amusement in his tone? Perhaps he thought I feigned my interest. Mayhap he believed me a stupid, poor girl, incapable of thought. Or perhaps a doll to dress and take down from a shelf whenever the mood fit, instead of a flesh and blood woman with her