seductress who slept with him so that he would kill my husband.”
“Insane,” I said loyally.
“It is. My point is that most of us don’t fit in.”
I turned to face her. “So, what do I do?”
“You find your people, the people who love you no matter what. The people who make you happy, who make you feel less lonely, who make you feel better about life. You find the people who don’t fit in too, and you don’t fit in together.”
I glanced back through the windows, into the ballroom. Violet still stood with Lady Alice. This time they were speaking to a handsome man who couldn’t keep his gaze from Violet. She looked so happy. She thrived around people, while I wilted. “What about all of this?”
“Darling, there is no rule that says you must attend these parties. There is no rule that says you must go to London every season. You must only befriend other titled people. There are no rules, my dear. We assume there are, because they tell us so, but there aren’t. So, make your own rules, because society will gossip about you no matter what. You might as well be doing something you enjoy when they do.”
The relief I felt was immediate.
“Thank you,” I whispered, throwing my arms around her neck. “You don’t know how much that means.”
She hugged me back. “And remember, we are here for you no matter what. Your brothers, Jules and I…we love you. We only want you to be happy, which is how it should be between friends and family.”
I pulled back. “You don’t think they’ll mind if I don’t particularly want to socialize?”
“No.” She slid her arm through mine and led me back inside the warmth of the ballroom. The music and laughter clanged against my eardrums. “Jules and I will set them straight. Do not worry. I promise, all will be well. And if you want to stay here in the countryside and look at stars all night, you can.”
I sighed. “Sounds divine.”
“We just have to get through this weekend.”
“Ugh.”
She laughed as we made our way back toward Jules. James was with her. His arm was wrapped around her waist. He smiled and whispered something in her ear that made her blush. They looked so stunning, he in his dark suit and she in a rich blue, the perfect couple. But it wasn’t their wealth, titles, and handsomeness that made people envious. It was the way they looked at each other. The love and adoration that poured from them.
I sighed.
I wanted that.
I was happy for them. I was. But I also felt completely out of place in this home. Since my return, William and Lilly had moved in, with their children. The estate was crowded. But they had wanted to surround me with love. And yes, I felt loved, but I also felt like I was intruding.
There had been multiple times when I’d come across James kissing Jules in a corner. Or Lilly sitting upon William’s lap in the library as they whispered love words to each other, and I felt as if my entire presence here was a bother.
Lilly paused, cupping my shoulders and jerking me from my thoughts. “And do try to have fun. Just for this weekend.”
The maid appeared with two glasses of gin.
I took the glass. “I will. I promise.”
And I meant to. If things went as well as Lily promised, this might be my last ball. Perhaps I would even get the courage to talk to James about finding a small cottage for Izzy and me. I took a drink of gin, the alcohol burning down my throat. Perhaps Violet would quit working as Lady Alice’s personal assistant, and move—
“Good evening, Ginny.”
That familiar deep voice sent a heated chill through my body. I froze, even as my heart slammed erratically against my ribcage. The ballroom spun. He could not be here. It didn’t make sense, but then nothing in my life had ever made much sense.
No. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t.
Lilly released her hold and stepped closer, as if to protect me. Her smile had turned bitter cold. She knew something was amiss. Vaguely, I was aware of James and Rafe making their way toward us, twin looks of fierce determination upon their handsome features. Oh dear God, James and Rafe would kill him. Right here, in the middle of the ball, there would be murder.
Desperate, I spun around.
It was a jolt to my system to see him standing there, as if he’d