Dancing with Molly - Lena Horowitz Page 0,48
me go blind with rage. I couldn’t believe how angry I was. I told her to shut the hell up and that she didn’t know what she was talking about, but she just stared at me with her ice queen eyes and said, Fine. Let’s go tell Mom and Dad right now.
I was so pissed off that I stopped her the only way I knew how. I said, Reid was there, you know.
At the sound of his name, Ashley spun around and there was the faintest spark of hope in her eyes. As she opened her mouth to ask about him, I felt the rage in my chest bubble up through my lips. I told her that he was there with a new girl—a college girl. That Derrick’s sister Sara was all over him. That they were dancing and kissing and feeling each other up in the middle of the music and lights and dancing. As I said the words, I saw her whole face crumple in on itself, but I couldn’t stop. She was crying and telling me to stop, but I kept going. I told her how Reid had laughed about her with me. How he didn’t care about her anymore, and maybe he’d never cared about her at all.
I told her that she was just jealous of me now. That all my life I’d been the nerdy older sister. The band geek who never got invited to anything. That now the tables had turned. I asked her how she liked being the girl who was stuck at home while I went out with my hot boyfriend. She couldn’t even answer me. She just ran out of my room crying.
I was so angry after she left I was shaking. I can barely hold this pen. And you know something? I don’t feel bad about saying those things. After all the years where I was like a freaking second-class citizen in this family, I don’t give a shit if I hurt her feelings. She should know how it feels. Here’s a taste of your own medicine, Ashley. Sucks, doesn’t it?
Monday, June 16
I just got back from seeing Jess. Carson came over this morning after my dad went to work. He just showed up on the front porch and rang the doorbell. My mom was working in her office down the hall and I heard her pass my room to go and answer. I just figured it was the UPS man or something, but when she opened the door, I heard her say, Oh! Hi, Carson! in this sort of surprised, cheery voice.
Thank god I’d gotten up and taken a shower this morning and put on some eyeliner. I was hoping to convince my mom to let me go to the library or the grocery store or SOMEWHERE today, so I had gotten dressed in halfway decent clothes already too. When I heard her say his name, I opened my door and stuck my head into the hallway, just as she called up the stairs for me to come down.
Carson was wearing nice jeans and a short-sleeved button-up plaid shirt. He looked very nice, and he was holding flowers. When I came into the entryway next to the front door, he smiled at me, and my mom told me, I wish I had a young man showing up on my doorstep with flowers. Then Carson did something that was truly remarkable. He said, Oh, these ARE for you, and held the bouquet out toward my mom. Before I knew what was happening, my mom was standing there holding a fistful of pink gerbera daisies and blinking at Carson like he was a heavenly apparition. He smiled at her and said, I was hoping you’d let me take her to pick out her own flowers.
If anyone besides Carson tried this stunt, it would’ve backfired miserably. If he’d tried it with any mother but my own, it probably wouldn’t have worked. But Carson is just that kind of guy—so charming that it catches you off guard. And I think my mom has always secretly wanted to be Ashley—the pretty, popular one. Carson made her feel that way. Mom actually giggled, and then said she thought that might be okay, as long as we weren’t gone long. Carson explained that Jess wasn’t feeling well, and that he’d hoped he could drive me by her house for a visit to cheer her up.
Mom expressed all sorts of concern for Jess and asked me why