Dancing with Molly - Lena Horowitz Page 0,14

smile. He wasn’t as aggressive as Pete was—his kisses were definitely different.

Okay. I have to stop here and just note for the record that I would never in a million years want to make out with Brandon. I mean, Pete was one thing. Pete is sort of tall and cute and dopey. But Brandon? I don’t even think he’s cute. I mean, he’s a nice guy, but oh my god. Am I like the easiest ecstasy girl EVER? I cannot keep doing ecstasy and making out with random dudes. I said this to Jess this morning as we were leaving Kelly’s to come home and she pointed out that it wasn’t a random dude, it was Brandon, who we’ve known since sixth grade. I know she was trying to make me feel better, but that sort of made it worse somehow.

I’m glad that we decided to get in the hot tub because Kelly’s brother, Kyle, saw what was going on from his bedroom. When I turned around to kiss Brandon, Pete started running his hands up and down my body and sliding his fingers into my underwear, and right about then, I heard a voice say, Hey, you guys. You need to chill out a little. I opened my eyes, and it was this tall, handsome Asian guy standing over us. He was really nice, and I was glad that he was there. He got us towels and we all went back inside and he played us some music—which honestly I don’t remember now, but at the time I remember thinking that the tracks went together so perfectly that I would never again hear music and be able to appreciate it the way that I appreciated what was coming out of those speakers.

That’s the weird thing about ecstasy. While I’m on it, everything seems like it’s the most perfect version of itself: I’m the perfect, flawless version of me, the music playing is the perfect music, the guy (or guys, plural) I’m kissing are the perfect guys, and everything is going to be okay. Better than okay. It’s going to be perfect.

I do have a headache this morning, but it hurts way less than the one I had last week. I found this forum online the other day when I was looking around for info about ecstasy and it was all these people talking about their experiences with MDMA. A lot of them were saying that the recovery time from rolling gets shorter and easier. Maybe that’s true.

Still, I don’t want to be making out with freaking Brandon in a hot tub. And if Pete’s going to stick his fingers in my underwear, he’s sure as hell going to have to buy me dinner somewhere first. Jesus. Like two weeks ago, I’d never have even considered going out with him. And I hope Brandon doesn’t make a big deal about what happened.

Monday, May 5

Funny I should be so worried that Brandon would make it weird. He’s been fine. In fact, I haven’t even seen him or Pete since we left English first period this morning. I did, however, just have this epic argument with Jess at lunch. Thank god we’re in study hall now so she has to be quiet. Needless to say, I lost the argument. I swear I don’t even know why I try when we disagree about something. It’s not worth my time. She always wins. I should just stop disagreeing with her.

In retrospect, I guess it’s not that big of a deal, but I really did not want her and Kelly to come get ready at my place before prom this weekend because I did not want to be there when Reid came to pick up Ashley. I just know that my parents will be on high documentary alert and there will be more pictures of Ashley and Reid snapped by my father and art directed by my mother than any other couple in the history of prom night. And I don’t think I can handle it. It is just SO ANNOYING when my mom is pointing and saying, Squeeze in closer! Smile with your eyes! Let me see Hawaii in those smiles! If seventeen holiday seasons’ worth of family pictures has taught me anything it’s that the pain of photo sessions run by my mother could wrest information from the most hardened criminals in any interrogation.

This will be one thousand times worse on Saturday because Reid and Carson have rented a limo together and are