I’ve been going over it all night, ever since I stepped out of the church.
Leaning forward, I rest my arm on the table and say, “We hit our own.”
The silence feels like a heavy blanket over the room, so I continue.
“Somewhere in the dead of night with no casualty count.”
Cristian nods. Frankie and Carlo smirk, and Leo rolls his eyes. To be honest, I don’t care what he thinks.
Christian begins to laugh. “No one would believe her plea for peace.”
“It sounds like you’ve already decided our next move, so I’ll leave you to hash out the finer details. I still have Gloria tied to my bed.”
One of these days, I’m going to tie him to something and let the wolves that circle Vita have at him. But as soon as he leaves the room, he’s simply forgotten and I move on.
“The people who love Jamila know how devoted she is to the church, so we’ll hit St. Jacobs down on the East Side. I’ll cover the renovation costs, and the people will see me as their saviour. Frankie, Carlo, check the place first and make it a spectacular show. Mila acts with class, and this will be no different.”
They both nod and excuse themselves, leaving Cristian and I alone in the room.
“Where did you get to last night?” he asks.
I figure he’s been dying to ask since he stepped into the room, seeing as he never misses a thing.
“I went for a drive.”
We both know it’s a lie, but I’m not sharing my few moments with Mila with him. It’s nothing he needs to know, and it never will be.
I walk into my mother’s room, where the sounds of the machines keeping her alive hiss and whoosh throughout the space.
Usually, I would settle into the armchair and look out over the gardens. But tonight, I drag it over and set it next to her bed.
My mother married my father when she was just seventeen, and he treated her like shit, just as he did with his sons and only daughter. She’s still as beautiful as she was when they met. Only now, her blue eyes never open, and I haven’t heard her angelic voice since she tried to end her life after I killed my father. He was no husband to her, but she was the devoted wife, and would have been till the day she died, no matter how horribly he treated her. As I grew older, he grew bolder. He’d bring his whores home and fuck them in her bed, just because he could. I used to think my father was a complicated man, but I soon learned he was just a cold, cruel asshole.
The day I plunged a blade into his heart was the day I thought she’d finally be free, but I was so wrong.
She loved him through all his faults, and loved us children just as much. Through her disturbing relationship with my father, there were two sides to Sofia Marocchi. One was for my father, and the other was for her children.
My father used to say I had too much heart, and that I’d gotten it from my mother. It was the only thing I ever agreed with him on.
“I went to see her last night, Mom. I held the back of her neck in the palm of my hand, and it was… it was so much more than dancing with her. I don’t know if I wanted to kiss her or strangle her. Hell, it could’ve been both.” The thought of kissing her as her life slowly drains away makes me twitch. “Everything is clear to me but her.” I sigh at the idea of unloading my thoughts on an unresponsive figure, but the unresponsive don’t share secrets. “Every time I vow to end her, I can’t help but think of the past. Father would remind me I have too much heart, that it should be torn from my chest, but how can you ever recover when you’ve felt such real, pure, uncorrupted love like I have?”
I plead for the Lord to hear my prayers and give my mom back the life she should’ve had. I need answers from her, advice no one walking this earth can give me.
Sitting back in the chair, I kick my foot up on the edge of her bed and lean my head back.
Every moment I spent with Mila all those years ago felt right. Every moment we shared was meant to be. Every kiss I