To Dance until Dawn - Emma V. Leech Page 0,15

through him too.

“Then it seemed ugly, barbaric, and I wanted to stop it.”

“Why did you come?”

To his relief, she did not take the question as a criticism.

He felt her gaze on him though and could not help but meet it, discovering a wary quality to her expression, wondering whether to give him the truth.

“Because I’ve never been, because I’m not supposed to, because… I wanted to do it anyway, for the thrill of it.”

Max nodded, having known as much. She was like some wild thing behind a fence: she might have the entire world at her back, but the notion that there was a fence at all made her wilder still, and determined to escape. Whoever married her would not have a comfortable life, and that was what he wanted, was it not? He’d wanted a friend and companion, comfort and security, and some measure of happiness. Phoebe would bring chaos and adventure, and no little trouble to whatever man dared to take her on.

“I suppose I disgust you.”

He looked around in alarm, aware of the defiance of the words, and aware of something else too, something a touch vulnerable, which he could not put a name to, but would have given anything to have identified.

“Why would you suppose that?”

They had reached his carriage and he handed her up into it, waiting until she sat down. He watched as she shrugged, her eyes downcast.

“You’re always disgusted by me,” she said softly.

Max laughed then, incredulous that she could so misconstrue his feelings for her. He stared at her for a long moment before he replied. He reached out a hand and took hers, giving her fingers a brief squeeze.

“Disgust is the very last thing I feel for you, Miss Barrington.”

Before she could reply, he closed the carriage door and barked instructions to the driver to return her to St James’s. He did not trust himself to be alone in a carriage with her, and it would do her reputation no good if anyone discovered he had been. Retracing his steps, he returned to Moulsey Hurst and hoped he could track down St Clair. With luck, his brother Jerome would be in the mood to drown his sorrows.

***

Phoebe stared as Max slammed the carriage door closed. Well. She did not know what to make of him. He’d seemed… different today. And whatever had he meant by that?

Disgust is the very last thing I feel for you, Miss Barrington.

She pondered this, frowning, and uncertain of the strange fluttering sensation in her chest. The events of the day had been unnerving, though, and Phoebe found herself too overwhelmed with exhaustion to think clearly. The fear and excitement of what had happened seemed to drain from her, taking all her energy with them. All she wanted to do was have a lie down in a quiet room and try to regain her composure. If she were perfectly honest, she’d never been happier to see Max in her life. She knew she could handle the situation, and had handled it, but nonetheless it had been frightening. To see him striding down the alley towards her had been such a relief, she’d not even cared that he would scold her soundly for being such a little fool. It had been foolish to go alone, she’d known that, but… but oh, she’d done it. She had done it, and she had managed, and she was still alive, and….

And why hadn’t he scolded her?

She felt almost disgruntled, which was ridiculous. Except that Max always scolded her when he discovered her up to no good, and that was normal. She’d come to expect it of him. That was who he was and how he acted and today… today he hadn’t seemed like he usually did, and that was… disturbing.

Odd.

What was he playing at?

Perhaps he’d given up on her and couldn’t be bothered with scolding her any more. That thought rankled and made her stomach feel odd and squirmy. Perhaps he’d just decided not to, as it always ended in a row, and instead he’d go straight to her father and….

Oh!

Phoebe quailed at the idea. Papa was the dearest, most indulgent father a girl could possibly have, and she adored him, but… but if he thought she’d put herself in danger….

Oh dear.

Sinking back into the squabs, Phoebe felt each mile that passed in the same manner as a villain approaching Tyburn. Well, she had to face her fate. There was no avoiding it. She drew in a shaky breath. Avoiding it